🎙️ Voice is AI-generated. Inconsistencies may occur.
Internet commenters were quick to encourage divorce after one woman aired multiple grievances about her husband's friend "Andy."
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, Redditor u/NotYourBirthday (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said Andy frequently asks her husband for money, and lamented over his seeming inability to ever say no.
Titled, "[Am I the a******] for telling everyone it's not Andy's birthday?" the post has received more than 10,500 upvotes and 1,100 comments since November 2.
"My husband has a friend Andy who can't hold down a job and there's always something wrong where he can't afford his rent," OP began. "Andy is always asking for money or a loan he doesn't pay back."
Continuing to explain that her husband has "loaned" Andy thousands of dollars over the last few years, OP said she made it clear that if it ever happened again she would leave him.
OP also said that, despite her husband's initial success turning down Andy, a fabricated sob story caused him—and the couple's relationship—to break.
"A few months ago I told my husband [that the] next time he gives Andy money, I'm gone," OP wrote. "My husband was doing good until Andy shows up at our door...and [says] everyone forgot his birthday. So they go out to drinks.
"I do some snooping on Facebook and Andy's birthday isn't until next month," OP continued. "I go to the bar and show everyone that it's not Andy's birthday and the room is dead silent...I asked Andy to show everyone his driver's license and he said he forgot it.
"Andy refused to show his license and left. My husband said I was being a b**** for no reason," OP added. "[He] stayed with a friend and I'm packing up my things because he acts like I'm the a****** for coming to the bar and saying publicly what I did."
Lending money to a friend in need often seems like the right thing to do.
Repeatedly lending a friend money with no expectation of reimbursement, however, is an entirely different story—especially for married couples.
Money issues, which include disagreements over financial decisions, are the third-leading cause for divorce in North America, according to data published by the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts.
"These disagreements can be extreme, so they should be taken seriously," Kevin Mimms, licensed marriage and family therapist and ChoosingTherapy.com expert, told Newsweek. "Having or thinking you have a spouse that is wasteful or impractical erodes trust."
Despite the good deed that is lending money to family, friends and other loved ones, married couples must make financial decisions together.
No amount of graciousness excuses an individual from consulting their partner before issuing a loan that may or may not be paid back.
"If you are partnered then you absolutely should not do something that your partner is not comfortable with," ChoosingTherapy.com expert Dr. Krista Jordan, Ph.D., told Newsweek. "It doesn't matter that this person is a friend, they could even be a sibling or parent, it would not justify going against your partner.
"If you can't help your partner see the 'up' side of loaning your friend money over and over with no prospects of repayment then you simply cannot do it," Jordan added. "If you do, it is signaling to your partner that you consider friends more important than them."
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors defended OP's reaction to her husband's insistence on loaning money to his friend, as well as his being duped into believing that "everyone" forgot that friend's birthday, even though it's actually a month away.
"[Not the a******]," Redditor u/RateMySass commented, receiving more than 7,000 upvotes. "File for divorce and let your husband and Andy live happily ever after.
"You deserve better," they added.
Redditor u/canigetahoohelp, whose comment has received nearly 2,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.
"For real," they wrote. "[Your] husband can adopt Andy if he wants to financially support him so bad."
"You set boundaries on your shared resources and he violated that," Redditor u/Doza13 added, receiving more than 1,200 upvotes. "You are completely within your rights to leave...this Andy sounds like a grifter and your husband is a sucker."
"Andy is a leech," Redditor u/collegegrad2022 chimed in. "Stand your ground. Money troubles await if your husband doesn't see the significance of giving out money to people without a second thought."
Newsweek reached out to u/NotYourBirthday for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Do you have a similar monetary dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more