Woman Backed for Refusing to Take Teen Nephew on a Family Break

A woman has been backed for refusing to take her teen nephew on a family break.

In the popular post shared by user Saju1 to Mumsnet, more than 97 percent of 1,791 respondents voted 'you are not being unreasonable.'

The woman said her sister was "annoyed" that her 18-year-old son wasn't invited to Center Parcs, a British getaway in a woodland setting.

Newsweek spoke to a family therapist who explained entitlement can "create inequality concerning power dynamics between family members."

Saju1 pointed out she is going on a short break with her partner, their baby and her parents.

In the comments, she stated that her "family dynamics are strange. Once you invite one person, you 'need' to [...] invite the next one, then the next one." In the end, her nephew, her sister's son, ended up getting invited. According to Saju1, the 18-year-old requires extra care as he is autistic.

There is room for one more person but the original poster didn't want anyone else to come on the trip to celebrate her birthday. She points out it would add an extra hour onto the car journey if she had to collect and drop off her nephew.

In the comments, the original poster tells another user: "My sister seems to think that because I am his aunt I have to pay for everything."

Average Holiday Spending

In February 2022, MoneyGeek, a personal finance website, surveyed 1,027 Americans to understand how much they spend over the holidays.

The results revealed the average holiday spending per person was $1,131 in 2021. And almost half of the participants (41 percent) put more than 90 percent of their holiday expenses on their credit cards.

Family Dynamics

Writing about her upcoming trip, Saju1 said: "My mum doesn't mind him going, but I feel like I want as much of a carefree holiday as I can. Looking after a baby is hectic, and having to look after an 18-year-old is not what I want to do that week."

Jamie Schenk DeWitt, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek she doesn't have to put her sister's needs before her own.

"Family dynamics are challenging—especially if secure, healthy boundaries are not implemented and modeled by caretakers concerning expectations and entitlement," she said. "Boundaries establish what is permissible and acceptable to ask for and want from people. When these boundaries are askew and relationship dynamics are unbalanced, family members can have unreasonable expectations and a sense of entitlement."

"To have unreasonable expectations is to always believe that something or someone will do the thing that you want. To have an unhealthy sense of entitlement is to always feel that you are owed something you want or expect to happen. When our sense of entitlement and our expectations are out of balance it can lead to different issues within a family and create inequality concerning power dynamics between family members," she added.

Hundreds of people have commented on the thread, and many have called the suggestion "strange" and "bizarre."

One user said: "Very odd she would suggest an 18yr old nephew tagging along, of course, you don't want him going. So cheeky."

"It is your birthday and you can keep to just your family unit, of course.
No explanations [are] needed. No 18-year-old I know would ever want to join you at [Center Parcs] in the first place!!! Weird she even suggested it," wrote another.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.