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Internet commenters were quick to defend one willful woman who turned away her sister—and her three children—in a time of need.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/CryptographerFun5948 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) chronicled the events leading up to her falling out with her sister and detailed the heated aftermath of her decision to deny family members desperate for help.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for not giving my estranged sister a place to stay with her kids while she was on her way to our parents?" the post has received nearly 7,000 upvotes and 1,200 comments in the last day.
"I have been estranged from my sister ever since she carried out an affair with my ex-fiancé," OP began. "I told her to consider herself down one sister and [that] I never wanted to see her again."
Continuing to explain that her sister married her ex-fiancé and had multiple children with him, OP said her ex was recently arrested, leaving his wife and kids without a place to stay.
OP added that, as her sister and her children made the voyage back to their parents' house to move in with them, she was asked to step up in a major way.
"My sister [lived] three states from our parents and apparently I'm right in the middle," OP wrote. "She called our aunt to say she couldn't find a place she could afford overnight, so [our] aunt gave her my address.
"She showed up [and] I shut the door...I refused to let them stay," OP continued. "Aunt ended up paying for a place for them to stay...then my saying no turned into the debate of the whole family.
"[My parents] hated that my sister's kids were upset...they just wished I could have found some way to love her kids," OP added. "I have been told I should be ashamed, that I am hateful, and...according to my siblings she has been saying how angry she is that I didn't give her kids a place to stay. And she has apparently called me a heartless b**ch."
Tension between family members, whether leading to conflict or temporary breaks in communication, is sometimes to be expected.
Complete estrangement from a family member is a completely different story.
Estrangement happens when one or more family members distance themselves from each other because of longstanding, negative relationships, according to Psychology Today.
Often the result of abuse, betrayal, unaddressed mental illness or substance abuse, estrangement can be devastating for certain family members. But for other family members, that distance is necessary for healing and growth.
"If you have exhausted all avenues of civil communication, and you feel hopeless about a better way forward, a break may be needed," Psychology Today says. "That does not mean the break must be permanent. Less contact may mean better contact in the future."
Although Psychology Today, Very Well Family and other mental health resources advise estranged family members to keep an open mind about reconciliation, individuals like the original poster are not interested, and for good reason.
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors assured OP that she was justified to leave her sister on her doorstep and blasted the relatives who labeled OP as "heartless" for doing so.
"Oh no," Redditor u/RedditDK2 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 11,000 upvotes. "Your sister, who is such a stand up person that she slept with your fiancé, thinks you are a bad person.
"Who cares what she thinks?" they added. "[Not the a**hole]."
Redditor u/panic_bread, whose comment has received nearly 3,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.
"Of course [not the a**hole]," they wrote. "Your sister seems to make terrible choices all the time.
"Marrying your ex, leaving her home in a hurry, having three kids and no money to spend the night," they continued. "None of this is your problem or [responsibility]."
In a separate comment, which has received more than 1,200 upvotes, Redditor u/MystifiedByPeople also sided with the original poster and took aim at her aunt for encouraging her sister to arrive unannounced.
"Your aunt was an [a**hole] for sending your estranged sister to your doorstep with no warning," they wrote. "Expecting you to just open your house to her with no explanation was amazingly clueless.
"And, frankly, after a last-minute explanation, I totally understand you sticking to your guns," they added. "The aunt always had the option of buying her a hotel room."
Newsweek reached out to u/CryptographerFun5948 for comment.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more