Woman Ditching Uninvited Husband To Spend Christmas With Her Family Blasted

A woman leaving her husband to spend Christmas alone is being berated online.

In a post shared to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on November 19, user u/Drizzle-Pack7957 said she'd agreed to spend the day with her family. However, her parents had only invited her and Billy—her 10-year-old son from a previous relationship—while banning her new husband from the house.

Drizzle-Pack7957 said she feels pressure from "both sides," but Reddit users had little sympathy for the poster. Since being shared, the post has received over 14,000 upvotes and more than 5,000 comments, many voting Drizzle-Pack7957 "YTA" (You're the a******) in the situation.

What To Do if Your Parents Hate Your Partner

Elizabeth Fedrick, owner of Evolve Counseling and Behavioral Health Services, said it can be difficult for the whole family when parents and a partner can't get along, but especially for the person "stuck in the middle."

"It is unfortunate when either the parents or the partner makes the decision not to include the other party in plans, as this puts the adult child in the impossible position of having to choose between the people who are most important to them," she told Newsweek.

Fedrick said that in this particular situation, the parents' behavior is not only hurtful towards her new husband, but their daughter and grandchild as well.

"The parents' decision to not include the poster's spouse in their holiday plans is inappropriate and immature," she said.

"This was an insensitive decision, as the poster is now in a lose-lose situation."

In an ideal world, parents and partners would attempt to be civil for the sake of their child/partner. But if you're the one caught in the crossfire, it might fall to you to solve the issue.

"One effective method for doing this is to set boundaries and guidelines around what topics are acceptable to discuss, as well as a method to indicate when someone is starting to feel uncomfortable with a certain topic," she said.

"It can also be helpful to have time limits regarding how much time will be spent together, whether during holidays or in general.

"The reality is that both the parents and the partner are pretty permanent fixtures in this family dynamic moving forward. So, it's not about who the child/partner 'chooses,' but rather finding ways to co-exist as needed."

'He Has Done Nothing Wrong'

Drizzle-Pack7957 explained she is a 32-year-old single mom and that her son's father is not in the picture. She recently married her boyfriend of two years, 36-year-old Philip, who she describes as a "wonderful man."

However, Philip and her family do not get along, with the poster explaining that they "disagree on a lot of things."

"For example, he had an argument with my dad who said that he was keeping their grandson away from them," she wrote.

"But Philip stated he wasn't and that he couldn't visit with Billy because he had work (I was sick at the time)."

The latest conflict between Philip and her parents was over "natural remedies." As Philip is a pediatrician, he did not agree with his wife's mother and sister avoiding medication.

"He called both of them 'ignorant' for not using meds instead, which caused a huge argument and Philip being no longer welcome at my parents' house," she said.

Her parents recently sent out invitations for Christmas Day, but only invited Drizzle-Pack7957 and Billy, leaving Philip to spend the holiday alone.

"I called my mom to confirm that I'll attend but the minute Philip found out, he went off saying he could not believe I was fine with my family excluding him, and then agree to go and leave him behind," she said.

"I told him it's their celebration and I don't get to decide their guestlist for them. And also, I'm not leaving him behind because we did not have any plans for Christmas."

Philip was angry with Drizzle-Pack7957's response, and said he assumed that the three of them would "automatically" be spending Christmas together as a family. However, the poster called him "melodramatic."

"It's literally just a few hours at my parents' home, but he insisted it was about principle and respect," she said.

"We had a big argument. He started ranting, saying it wasn't about the fact that they didn't invite him, but the fact that I was willing to let him spend Christmas alone without me and Billy."

Drizzle-Pack7957 said she has yet to find a solution to the problem, but Reddit users said she should support her husband and not her parents.

"You think it's okay to leave your husband alone on Christmas because they are being horrible to him," said mummamair.

"I'd be upset, you are not doing anything to defend him when he has done nothing wrong."

Briomio agreed, commenting: "This is you and your spouse's first Christmas together and you are leaving him to go spend Christmas with your family—huh? Very disrespectful OP."

"'We didn't have any plans for Christmas?'" wrote weezyjacobson. "Uhhh, spend it with your husband and kid goes pretty much unsaid."

"How are you not outraged that your parents left YOUR HUSBAND out of the invitation to spend Christmas with them?" asked YourLittleRuth.

"And how could you possibly contemplate leaving your husband alone?"

While Sail_Future warned: "If you're not careful 'Mr. Wonderful' will soon become 'Mr. Gone.'"

Drizzle-Pack7957 isn't the only Redditor dealing with family drama this holiday season. A young woman who always gets stuck babysitting at family events went viral recently, after she decided to skip the kid's table and spend Thanksgiving at her boyfriend's house—much to her family's chagrin. While a woman pressured into hosting Thanksgiving for 15 people after her in-laws invited extra relatives was advised to take a stand.