Woman Backed Over Divorcing Husband Who Left To Be With Terminally Ill Ex

A woman has ignited debate online around the notions of love and loss after revealing she is planning to divorce her husband because he chose to fulfill his terminally ill ex-girlfriend's "last wish" to be by her side.

In a post upvoted over 13,000 times on Reddit, the distraught wife accused her partner of "abandoning her" to be with his ex, in a stance that drew plenty of support on social media.

But while fellow Redditors agreed the husband's actions crossed a line, a leading psychotherapist has urged her to take a more compassionate stance.

According to the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy, 15 percent of women and 25 percent of men have experienced intercourse outside of their long-term relationship. However, what's more significant still is that when including emotional and sexual intimacies without intercourse, these percentages increase by 20 percent.

Emotional affairs, for example, have become increasingly common, with both parties guilty of crossing a line in terms of intimate communication rather than any physical contact.

Suspicions over a potential emotional affair appear to be driving the concerns of the wife who posted to Reddit under the handle Intelligent_Sand4463.

Her dilemma began when her husband "Seb" was contacted by his ex, "Tanya," who informed him she had late-stage breast cancer and it was her "last wish" that he be with her.

According to the post, Seb and Tanya split several years back after she cheated but have become "best friends" in the years since.

"I would be lying if I said it never made me feel uncomfortable," she wrote. "It did and it still does because Tanya is still in love with my husband."

The couple moved to Australia a few months ago because of her work but Tanya and Seb have continued to speak over the phone.

Tanya called him to tell him the sad news two weeks ago, with the pair ending up "on the phone the whole day." Afterwards, he promised to go out to Canada to be with her.

However, when he told his wife what he was planning, she was left in "shock" and responded simply "what about me?" Although he promised to "visit" her while staying with his ex, she has been left stunned.

"I feel like he's abandoning me but at the same time I feel that I'm selfish for hating both of them," she wrote. "I'm honestly thinking of getting a divorce because obviously he's choosing her over me."

Psychotherapist Julia Samuels has been counseling and offering advice to those grieving over the loss of a loved one for over 30 years.

Addressing the wife directly, she told Newsweek: "I do understand that you feel abandoned. But support yourself with the knowledge that as human beings we have the capacity to love different people in different ways at the same time.

"It isn't like there is a limited 'cake' of love and if we give a slice to one person there is less for the other person. If we have a mindset of plenty and not scarcity that allows us to accommodate situations like the complex one your husband is in when his ex is dying.

"Have a conversation with your husband and explain why you find it hard to trust him. Try and work out ways that will enable you to feel close to him and build trust while he is in Canada. Get support through counseling on your early experiences that shaped you into believing you are second best."

But while Samuels urged her to come together and communicate with her husband, many on Reddit felt the opposite. Scioutier351 said: "Initiate divorce proceedings, your husband has shown you who HE is and the person he values the most."

Chimperonimo, meanwhile, commented: "His wife shouldn't worry about the decision to divorce as this bozo had made it for her and he doesn't have the balls to tell her the truth." Dorkasaurus-reckt added: "Once she does die, he might come back with beautiful words of remorse or guilt, but please don't let that blind you. He has made his choice."