Woman's Reason for Not Sharing Inheritance With Family Praised: 'I Said No'

The internet has backed a woman who refuses to share her inheritance with her aunts who demanded she give up her apartment, saying that's what her mother what have wanted.

In a post shared to Reddit earlier in March under the username u/Ok_Oil_324, the 25-year-old woman explained that recently her mother died of cancer, leaving her and her brother everything she owned, including a house, a car, and money from two life insurance policies.

According to financial and retirement planner website, Annuity, the average inheritance in the United States is around $46,200, with a big disparity between the top 1 percent receiving around $719,000, and the bottom 50 percent getting about $9,700.

"For the past [seven] years, I've been staying in an apartment my mother bought. She always told me that when she died, she wanted me to have it because she worked so hard to ensure I always had somewhere to live. So when she died, she left me the apartment in the will," u/Ok_Oil_324 wrote.

While her brother is totally fine with her getting the apartment, her aunts, who didn't get a mention in the will, think it's unfair.

"My aunts (A and B) have an issue with this," the Reddit poster wrote. "A has had money issues for as long as I've known her and my mother was always helping her out with money when she was alive. B is financially stable, but in no position to help A. They both think that since I make enough money to be able to rent a place, I should let A stay in the apartment and rent my own because that's what my mother would have wanted."

"I said no, stating that my mother wanted me to have a place of my own," the poster added. Her aunts at this point, asked her to share some of the money from her life insurance policies instead. u/Ok_Oil_324 refused again, saying if her mother wanted to leave them anything she would have done so.

"My aunts are saying that my mother did that because she assumed we would share. But I knew my mother. She would have told me if she wanted me to do that. All she said was that she wanted to die knowing that me and my brother would be able to support ourselves," she added.

Smriti Joshi, chief psychologist at Wysa, an AI-led mental health app, told Newsweek that drawing boundaries for self is not selfish here but an act of "self-compassion."

"Clearly her aunts are more self-centered than supportive, emotionally blackmailing her to feel more guilt and experience more stress. She should redirect [her] focus on herself in this situation and pay extra attention to her own self-care," Joshi said. "Identifying people who will surround her with good energy, not these energy drainers, and provider support will help her deal with the intense emotions and the void she may be experiencing in life right now."

She continued: "This young woman should let her aunts know politely but assertively about her stance with regards to her mom's apartment, offer to be present for them in other ways, and then leave it at that. If they still want to be present for her in supportive, positive ways they are welcome to stay but as adults, they are responsible for their own feelings and choices. Remember there's no right or wrong way to experience grief and no right time to get over it."

Reddit Users React

The post, originally shared on the r/AmItheA****** (AITA) subreddit, where users discuss their actions with strangers, has gone viral, receiving over 4,700 upvotes and 1,200 comments.

One user, SybariticDelight, commented: "There is absolutely no way you're the [A******] in this situation. Sorry for your loss, but I'm afraid the only way forward is to cut your toxic aunties out of the picture, as your brother did. [Not The A******]."

Sticksnstone wrote: "[Not The A******] - If your mother would have wanted them to have inheritance, she would have left it in her will. Sounds like she was pretty [thorough] in her estate plan and she meant to leave them out. IMO you would be going against your mom's wishes [by] giving them money. Once you decide you rent the apartment you could let them rent it at a slightly less than going rate fee for a family discount but that is generous and not necessary."

And OrcaMum23 added: "That is generous and not necessary. Better to keep that in mind. They'd probably be capable of asking for an ever bigger reduction or even stop paying, guilt-tripping OP because 'FaaaAAmmIILLyyYYyyYY"

IRoastRudePeople said: "[Not The A******], your aunt wants you to RENT a place? And give HER your apartment? The one you've been living in for years? The same one your mother wanted YOU to keep? The audacity.... I wish you good luck with such relatives. I'm really sorry for your loss..."

Annual_Peanut_7079 added: "DON'T take this as a suggestion to let her bunk-in and live with you. Follow your brother in this and Cut Them Out!! Don't feel guilty. Your Aunties are Awful."

Newsweek reached out to u/Ok_Oil_324 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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