Woman Wanting To Reunite With Daughter She Disowned in 2005 Splits Opinion

A woman who became pregnant after a one-night stand and carried to term before signing her parental rights away has divided opinion after admitting she wants to reconnect with the daughter she has never known.

Writing in a Reddit post shared under the handle throaway30439054, the woman, who is now 40, said when she first discovered she was pregnant, she "first thought of having an abortion" but the child's dad, Nathan, came from a conservative Jewish background and wanted the baby.

A deal was eventually struck. "I would give birth to the child and sign away my parental rights," she wrote. "He would pay all the medical expenses plus some extra for my troubles." The woman said she did not keep in touch with Nathan or her daughter after she was born.

According to data from the U.S. Census Bureau, the number of children living with two parents has dropped significantly over the past 50 years. In 1968, 85 percent of children under the age of 18 lived with two parents. By 2020, 70 percent did.

A 2015 study published in the Journal of Family Studies previously highlighted how living arrangements can impact children's outcomes in terms of dealing with depression, anger and anxiety.

The young child at the center of the Reddit post did eventually find a mother figure though, with the post explaining that Nathan went on to marry another woman and have more children in the years that followed.

Now 17, the teenage girl caught the eye of the mom she never knew after she was sent a social media post from a temple youth group.

"One of the girls from the picture looked a lot like me," she wrote. "I searched for her profile and found out that she had Nathan's surname and had the right age to be the baby I gave away."

Though the woman stressed she does not want "to be a mother," she has become "curious" about the type of person her daughter has become so decided to contact Nathan to ask about her.

She explained to him that she "did not want to interfere with his family, just to know her" but Nathan would not hear it, telling her she "abandoned" her daughter as a baby and them meeting "would only mess with her head."

Despite being blocked by Nathan, the woman insists there is no "harm" in a meeting and it would be good for the 17-year-old to know her "history."

Commenting on the dilemma, family law attorney Lexie Rigden told Newsweek: "The father and step-mother have no obligation to respond to her at all, especially if it is accurate that she did in fact legally give up her rights.

"If the child were younger, depending on the jurisdiction and the mom's legal status with regard to the child, she could try to file an application to establish contact with the child.

"Given the circumstances here including the child's age, she should wait until the child is an adult, and if the child wants nothing to do with her, there is nothing that mom will be able to do. "

Beyond the legal concerns, Ian Steinberg, divorce attorney at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP, felt it was important to focus on what is in the "best interest" of the teenage girl.

Steinberg told Newsweek: "How harmful would it be for the child, who is 17 years old and presumably heading towards college, to all of a sudden have her birth mother introduced into her life? The birth mother does not know what the father has told the child about the existence of the birth mother, if anything at all."

Those commenting on social media appeared torn over the matter. Salmonberrycreek said: "You decided not to be in your child's life, it is not fair for you to now force yourself back into it because YOU want to."

Spicy_sugary disagreed though, writing: "I've seen this scenario in reverse and dad is supported for wanting to meet his kid... I'm sure the child, who is almost an adult, will not be traumatized by the meeting."

Smart-Bake713 remained concerned over the woman's intentions. "You have no desire to be in her life but want to meet her," they wrote. "Do you not think that would be upsetting to meet the woman who gave you away and learn she still doesn't care about you? Leave her alone."

Newsweek contacted throaway30439054 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.