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A woman's aunt is being bashed on Reddit after she made a "transphobic" remark about her niece's unborn child, sparking outrage from many on the internet.
The now-viral post, titled, "AITA for asking my aunt what part of the penis was required to operate a toy," has garnered 20,600 comments since it was shared on May 30. Redditor @Bromonuim_ion shared the post to the subreddit "Am I The A**hole," bringing in 2,300 comments.
According to GLAAD, the term transgender is used to describe people whose gender identity is different from the sex they were assigned when born. People within the community may use other terms to describe themselves as well, such as transsexual, non-binary, genderqueer, gender non-conforming, agender, and bigender, according to the Human Rights Campaign. There are more than 2 million people who identify as transgender in the United States.
The original poster (OP) is a 26-year-old female who is expecting her first daughter with her husband in September of this year. She said she was raised in a "moderately religious household" with "strictly defined gender roles." The Redditor revealed she had chores around the house while her young brother didn't have to do any.
"I don't talk to my parents for a variety of reasons (going on year five now), so they do not know I am pregnant," the OP explained. "Both my aunts and grandparents were very supportive of me leaving my household and as such have been my main family. Being six months pregnant now, people have started to give gifts, and I am very grateful for them."
The OP and her husband have chosen for their daughter not to be "surrounded" by everything pink and with "only girl things." They have made the effort to include outfits deemed "traditionally" for boys, and toys, such as dinosaurs and cars, as well. The couple told people that items for any gender will be "accepted."
"My younger aunt has taken great offense to this because 'boys are boys and girls are girls,'" the OP continued. "And she is a very verbal and loud person and has let us know several times her opinions. She has two boys."
At the woman's baby shower, her older aunt gave them a book called Goodnight Construction Site and a stuffed truck as well.
"My younger aunt went on a tirade about how we are somehow making our daughter trans and not allowing her to be a girl," the OP said. "And she's a loud person, so of course her saying this was more like a yell, and in front of my very liberal in-laws who are very supportive of our choice."
The OP said that "pregnancy hormones took over," and she grabbed the stuffed toy, handing it to her aunt and asking her what part of the penis is needed to "operate" the toy. The Redditor's aunt "yelled" that it wasn't what she meant, and she left.
The rest of the baby shower was fine, however, it was slightly awkward afterward. Since the encounter, the OP's aunt has been "blowing up" Facebook where people are agreeing with her that the Redditor is "making my daughter trans and have been telling me that I was an a**hole." However, others thought what the couple was doing was "fine," but that the OP shouldn't have handled the situation in that way.
In an update, the woman admitted she didn't care if her daughter "ends up loving pink and unicorns," adding that they'll get them for her then. "I just was trying to balance out the sheer amount of pink items we were getting from friends and family," she said. "Almost every single gift has been heavily pink or girl influenced. To the point where she would not be dressed in anything but pink if we did not go out and buy some more boy things."
The OP revealed she made the comment as seriously as possible and that her intention was to embarrass her aunt in front of their family present. She said it had the effect she intended as her aunt became red before she departed. It was the first "transphobic comment" the Redditor has heard her aunt utter, and she said they all grew up conservative.
The OP explained that her older aunt came out 27 years ago, and it changed their family's "perspective." She added her aunt was also "always supportive" of her sister, and she admitted her aunt always wanted to have a girl, so the OP thought she was trying to "act out her fantasy" with "gifts and preferences."
Redditors had harsh criticism for the OP's aunt after her remark at the baby shower. One comment received 23,300 upvotes on its own, and the Redditor didn't think the OP was the one at fault.
"You're already an awesome parent, and your child hasn't even been born yet," they said. "There's nothing you can do or not do to 'make' your child trans."
Another user thought a toy is just a toy, and it isn't a "magic wand" that can change people. They reasoned it's a baby, and the woman's aunt sounds "troubled." The Redditor also thought if the child did end up being transgender, her family didn't seem like they'd be "supportive"
"Familial red flags," they added. "Not to mention, you were blown up on at your baby shower, but you are supposed to be the bigger person and just take it? Hell no, she smashed the line of decency first. All you did was treat her as she clearly thinks was appropriate."
A Redditor thought the OP's aunt was "toxic" for making a scene and then to top things off she's "blowing up" on Facebook. "Hopefully you can block/ignore her and enjoy the rest of your pregnancy," they said. "Congratulations on the baby!" The OP revealed she hasn't been on the social media platform in years, and she found out about the situation because a friend asked her about what had happened.
Another Redditor insisted a person can't be made straight, gay, ect., and they are who they are. "Your aunt appears to be more concerned with maintaining a narrow view of life than being a supportive relative," the user added. "Your hormones notwithstanding, I'd say your reaction to her presumptuous and objectively rude comments was appropriate."
While some users didn't mince words, and one user insisted the OP's aunt was "entitled to have her own bigoted opinion, but she's not entitled to abuse you with it." Another Redditor thought the OP's aunt was "a transphobe, and that's gross. There's nothing you can do to make someone trans or not trans."
A Redditor had their own "simple solution" to the aunt problem, adding she should just "block" her. "People like her have a toxic view of the world that may never be changed," they said. "You will most likely spend the rest of your life dealing with her nonsense by keeping her around. Limit your contact with her. BTW [by the way] Congratulations."
Another user thought the OP's aunt didn't have the "capacity to reflect or grow," and they thought she will "only continue to force their phobic views on your child. Whatever support they may have offered in the past, it seems that has melted away in favor of forcing gender norms on you."
Newsweek reached out to Redditor @Bromonium_ion for comment.
This isn't the only viral moment involving family. A bride was backed for refusing to cancel her wedding because of her sister-in-law's divorce. A woman found support after she didn't let her brother-in-law sleep in her room during a holiday. In addition, the internet slammed a pregnant woman who was upset over her sister's engagement.
