Woman 'Tricked' Into Feeding Stepkids While Husband Attends Party Defended

Internet commenters offered stern relationship advice to one woman accused of being too selfish to cook for her two stepchildren.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/TheJordanRiv121 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she often works grueling hours but revealed how her work-from-home status influences her husband's expectations for her parenting abilities.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for ordering takeout after my husband tricked me to cook for his kids?" the post has received nearly 20,000 upvotes and 5,000 comments in the last day.

"I [F35] have been married to my husband [M37] for 6 months," OP began. "He has 2 children...and they live with us full time."

Continuing to explain that her husband believes she can pause her remote work whenever she pleases, OP said she is often interrupted by him with requests for assistance with his kids.

OP also said she recently found herself in a parental predicament, when her husband left for a friend's engagement party without feeding his children, despite her repeated warnings that she would be working while he was gone.

"The kids came [to me] and said they were hungry," OP wrote. "I was puzzled, I asked if their dad cooked them dinner and they said he didn't...[and] told them to come ask me to cook for them.

"I took [a] few minutes...and ordered takeout from the nearby restaurant and fed the kids," OP continued. "[My husband] came home at 11 p.m. and went off on me after he discovered I didn't cook, like he was counting on me to do.

"He was upset with me for missing the event and now refusing to cook a homemade healthy meal," OP added. "He ranted about how I care more about work than my stepchildren...called me selfish...and says I need to get my priorities 'in order.'"

Blended families, in which at least one parent was accompanied by a child from a previous relationship, are common across the U.S.

Data published by SmartStepfamilies last year revealed that 40 percent of married couples with children in the U.S. are considered step couples. According to the most recent data published by Pew Research Center, 16 percent of children are living within blended families.

Despite their prevalence, however, blended families face many challenges, largely due to slow developing relationships between children and stepparents, and unrealistic expectations for stepparents to replace their biological counterparts.

"One of the biggest trends I see in blended families are parents who try really hard to 'make it feel like a family' quickly and kids usually aren't ready for this," marriage and family therapist Dr. Dena DiNardo told Newsweek.

"Research suggests it takes about 5-7 years for blended families to really start to gel, and even that is a best case scenario," she added.

Sometimes, the sense of urgency associated with becoming one, big, happy family comes from parents determined to give their children a sense of normalcy.

Other times, it comes from an existing parent's expectation for their childless partner to take parenting as seriously as they do without any prior experience.

"Becoming a step parent is easily one of the most difficult blended family dynamics to work with and many times it has to do with a lack of self reflection that existed on the part of the parents," DiNardo said.

"It really cannot be overstated that often the insecurities in the romantic relationship and for each adult, separate from family dynamics, are the source of a significant amount of pain and disappointment," she added.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors lamented over the parenting expectations placed upon OP, taking issue with the fact that her clearly stated work schedule was disregarded completely.

"Wait, wait, wait...he told YOU that YOU need to get YOUR priorities in order when HE left HIS children unfed to attend a party?" Redditor u/Legion1117 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 34,000 upvotes.

"Why did you marry this man?" they questioned.

Redditor u/crockofpot, whose comment has received nearly 17,000 upvotes, offered a similar response.

"You have bigger issues in your marriage than takeout," they wrote. "You married someone who does not respect your work or your time, is willing to let his kids go hungry to force your hand, and is now using emotional blackmail to punish you."

"Bail. Out. Now," Redditor u/Darwina1226 advised, receiving more than 9,000 upvotes. "This man does not respect your needs, feelings or boundaries."

"One red flag after another with this guy," Redditor u/Caspian4136 chimed in. "She needs to get out."

Newsweek reached out to u/TheJordanRiv121 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.