Woman Uninviting Friend for Bringing Fiancé to Party Backed: 'Girls Only'

Reddit users have criticized a woman who brought her fiancé along to a birthday party unannounced, despite advanced warning that it was "girls only."

In a post shared to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on Saturday, u/caffeineXjunkie wrote that men weren't invited to the event for religious reasons. Nevertheless, her friend showed up with her "weird" and "co-dependent" fiancé, who has been attached to her hip since the engagement was announced.

'Unhealthy'

According to Medical News Today, a co-dependent relationship is when one partner "needs" the other, while the other partner "needs to be needed." In a healthy relationship, partners can depend on each other for love and support, with both getting value from their connection.

However, co-dependent couples can find themselves trapped in a toxic cycle, with one person ignoring their own needs to please the other.

This person can lose their identity outside of the relationship and can be happy only when their partner's needs are met. The other partner, known as the "enabler," derives pleasure from the situation, with co-dependent relationships often leading to abuse.

'Girls Only'

In the post shared on Reddit, user u/caffeineXjunkie wrote that her friend is the first to get engaged, and they're all very happy for her.

However, her friend's fiancé has suddenly started hanging around non-stop, even gate-crashing events he isn't invited to and making other guests uncomfortable.

"Her fiancé is ALWAYS there," she wrote. "I mean, every event my friend is invited to, he's there.

"Girls night out? He's there. Weekend getaway? He's there. Movie night with the gang? He's there.

"We are all single, so he's the only guy in our chillings."

For her birthday, the poster organized an evening at one of their friends' homes. The night was "girls only" and included dinner, movies and boardgames.

"I really wanted it to be only girls since two of the group are religious (one jewish, one muslim) and would be able to remove their veil and dress "less modestly" (term they used)," the Redditor wrote.

"So I specifically told my friend to NOT bring her fiancé as it is only girls. She told me 'no problem, can't wait to be with you all.'"

Nevertheless, the friend brought her fiancé to the party, which did not go down well with the poster or the other guests.

The Redditor wrote: "She was about to come in when I stopped her. I told her that he shouldn't be here, that it was girls only.

"She told me it wasn't a big deal and he is always with us. I told her it was a big deal and she's disinvited and she and her fiancé can leave.

"She told me I was being ridiculous, a hypocrite and an a****** for doing this. She left and she stopped talking to me."

Concluding her post, caffeineXjunkie said some of the group told her that she should have just let the couple in, but she disagrees. So did fellow Redditors, with the post receiving 13,000 upvotes and 1,300 comments.

"She's either really codependent or he's super controlling," wrote CrystalQueen3000. "either way a girls trip where everyone is comfortable outweighs whatever's going on in their relationship. You made the right decision."

"he's not one of the girls & his presence would detrimentally affect the comfort of the girls," wrote Glock212327. "He can sit in the parking lot like a stalker."

"What in the world was he expecting to do?!" asked GirlNamedTex. "They were hanging out having girl time inside a condo.

"Was he just going to silently sit in the corner like the Social Travesty he is?"

However, others warned the poster that the relationship may be abusive, with princesstoadstool3 suggesting she "keep a closer eye out."

"His behavior is super weird," she commented.

"I agree that there's something not good going on behind the scenes," wrote thrwwy2710172892. "Definitely some controlling/threatening going on."

While justcupcake commented: "You forgot the possibility that SHE is controlling. He has to come because she can't have him deciding things on his own."

Newsweek has reached out to u/caffeineXjunkie for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.