I Can't Afford a Lawyer To Get My Daughter Back Home—What Should I Do?

Dear Newsweek, Last June someone reported me to CPS (child protective services) and I've been fighting to get my daughter back home since. I'm a single dad and my daughter just turned 11. I get one in-person visit and two phone calls a week. It's been almost a year since they took her and all we want is to be reunited. I'm holding onto the hope that she will be returned to me because that's all I have right now.

When the CPS worker arrived, I was told someone called CPS because my house was too dirty. The worker said my house was clean and proceeded to drug test me. I told them I have a medical marijuana card and showed it to the CPS worker, who said that was okay. She left saying it will take a week to get the drug test results.

A week went by and the CPS worker and two police officers came by. I opened the door and my child took off running to her room, saying she isn't leaving with them. It's the hardest thing I've ever experienced in my life. What I don't understand is how can they leave her with me for that week while waiting for the results and then just come take her, out of nowhere, when I fail. They should have given me a chance to get treatment before removing her from the home.

I have no money for a lawyer, so I was given a public defender, which hasn't been very helpful. My kid wants to come home and I want her here but the state isn't allowing it. I'd do anything to get her back home but it feels like everyone is working against us. They're taking what little time I have with my kid and making it even less, it's not right.

My kid wasn't around any drug dealers. I never did drugs in front of her. I got high not knowing that CPS were coming. There were no drugs or paraphernalia laying around.

It's been nearly a year now and still no sign of her coming home or even getting house visits. It makes me sad and makes me want to use. I usually fight the urges off. I just want my kid back and for CPS to be out of our lives for good.

Anthony, Ohio

Cooperate With Social Worker's Requirements

Patrick Baghdaserians is family law and divorce attorney at the Baghdaserians Law Group based in Pasadena, California.

CPS involvement is one of the most difficult experiences a family can go through. What stands out about this situation is that you state that the process makes you want to use. Do not do that. Assuming that the main issue that led to the removal was the risk associated with your drug use, continued failed drug tests may lead the court to find that the risk of returning the child home still exists.

The procedures for CPS involvement will vary from state to state. In California, drug use alone does not in of itself warrant a removal. Removal occurs if there is a nexus between the drug use and the safety of the children. There are a lot of different ways the connection between the drug use and the safety of the children can be related—for example, leaving paraphernalia in places where a minor can access it.

Given the length of time that has occurred in this case, it is probably safe to assume that a judicial determination that services are warranted has already been rendered. At this juncture, it is important to cooperate with the social worker's requirements and expectations. They may seem onerous, but the alternative could be potentially losing parental rights.

I recommend you take the following steps:

1. Voluntarily enroll in a drug rehab program.
2. Consider enrolling into an outpatient facility for a time being.
3. Voluntarily take drug tests.
4. Be persistent in communicating with the department of CPS.

Get Clean and Sober

Ruth Freeman is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder/president at Peace at Home Parenting Solutions.

It sounds like you are deeply committed to doing what is necessary to regain custody of your child and that really matters a lot. If you really want your daughter back, you are going to have to do some serious work. You are what's best for her, but only if you are clean and sober.

You should ideally be engaged in therapy with a counselor. The most glaring problem in your message is that you are continuing to use drugs as noted by your comment that you "usually" fight off the urges (be sure you discuss this behavior with your therapist).

Enter an inpatient detox program if that is necessary. Your protective services worker will likely be able to help you find such a program. If you can completely stop using without a detox, then you'll want to do the 90 Meetings in 90 Days program from Alcoholics Anonymous or one from Narcotics Anonymous, if at all possible. While you're there, make sure you get a sponsor with whom you have regular contact until your sobriety is secure and then plan to stay in the program.

Typically when a child is removed, there are social service programs and parenting education programs that you can access to gain better skills and make that return more likely. Ask your protective services social worker if any of these resources are also available to you. Best of luck.

Take Initiative and Responsibility

Rebecca Kase is a licensed clinical social worker based in Gig Harbor in Washington state.

Be honest with yourself about the factors that may have prompted CPS intervention. CPS don't get involved or remove children from the home for no reason, as they don't have the time.

CPS favors those who take initiative rather than those who wait for court mandates to make changes. Take initiative and responsibility. Conduct a personal inventory and make steps to improve the condition of your home and receive mental health and substance abuse treatment.

Ask for copies of CPS reports. Having written documentation is helpful for holding the department accountable.

There are many resources for free legal advice and support available online. You may not need a lawyer but rather some counsel and advice to help navigate the situation.

Do you have a similar dilemma? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.