My Creepy Neighbor Watches Me All The Time—What Should I Do?

Dear Newsweek, my neighbor doesn't wave at me, or say hello. Not even to my husband. If we have mail that is his, he won't come to the door to get it either.

If l am in the yard he just stares at me and then if l change to the opposite side of the house, he waits a moment or two then follows me.

He has stared up at the windows of our bedroom like the darn creep that he is so now l just permanently close the curtains.

It creeps me out to the point l feel l can't even enjoy my yard and am prisoner to my own house.

He will sit and stare at our other neighbor ladies as they walk past his house also so l know its not just me.

I caught him staring out from his garage at me multiple times too.

Amy, Ohio

Your Neighbor Sounds Lonely

Libby Stevenson is a therapeutic wellbeing practitioner specialized in trauma, attachment theory and neuroscience.

Your neighbor sounds to me like a very lonely person. He is looking at others without engaging. Does he hope to connect with others by staring? I would try engaging with the neighbor by saying "hello and how are you today?"

I agree that he sounds creepy but there is a reason behind that. Without putting myself in danger, I would keep my distance but somehow try to engage compassionately with him to see if that has any effect.

Each of us is a product of childhood and life experiences. Sometimes kindness and compassion can make all the difference to someone who is suffering or feels alone and not part of a community or group.

A Knock On The Door From Law Enforcement Might Help

Mairead Molloy is a relationship consultant and strategist based in Cannes, France. She holds a BSc in Psychology from University College London and is a member of the British Psychological Society.

There are a couple of ways of dealing with this. First maybe this person has a disease that you don't know about. They could have Alzheimer's or something else, so it might be an idea to just ask them or try to contact a family member of theirs.

If you do talk to them, be firm, polite and honest with them. Set firm boundaries before they think they have too much control over you.

Be someone they don't want to be with. Disagree with them, don't act impressed when they start boasting about their achievements or their life. As a last resort if you feel it feels like passive bullying, call the police if you feel you are in danger.

A knock on the door from law enforcement might be the best means of sending your neighbor the message to stay away from you and your family. Keep in mind, however, that once the police respond to your call, they might have you fill out a report. It is always good to document incidents with dates and times.