Fury as Man Buys First-Class Seats for His Kids but Not Fiancée's Children

Parental favoritism can be quite common, particularly when it comes to biological children versus stepchildren. Online commenters have sided with a woman who refused to spend Thanksgiving with her fiancé's parents after he bought her children economy tickets while putting his in first class.

In a viral post shared on Reddit earlier this month under the username u/thethrowaway156, the mother of two said that her partner, who has three children from a previous marriage, asked her and her children, also from a previous marriage, to spend Thanksgiving at his parent's home. But after a fight at the airport, the plans got scrapped.

According to the post, the couple, who have been living together for some time, agreed that she would stop working so she could study for a degree. Her partner would then become the main "breadwinner" while she would handle most of the child care duties for all five children.

Stay-at-home parents in the United States are mostly women by a wide margin. About 28 percent of women and 7 percent of men decided to stay at home to take care of their children in 2022, according to the National Fatherhood Initiative.

The poster wrote that she and her partner decided to spend Thanksgiving with his parents, who are located across the country. All was going according to plan until she made a discovery that changed everything.

Once they got to the airport and were ready to board the plane, she discovered that she, her partner and his three children had first-class tickets. But her partner decided to put her children in economy class by themselves, and his reasoning made the situation even worse.

She wrote: "I was stunned, he acted like it was a no big deal and told us it's just [a] few hours and the kids could 'just hang in there for a little while.' I asked how he could think this was acceptable and he got mad and said he's the one paying for tickets then we go by his rules. I immediately turned around and took the kids and made my way out of the airport.

"He started following us screaming at me to go back but I refused and told him that I no longer felt like spending thanksgiving with his folks after this. My youngest cried because she never flew without me," the poster wrote.

After the airport scene, the woman and her children decided not to go on the trip. Her partner and his children went, but his mother didn't take that well.

The poster wrote: "His mom [texted] that I needed to get over myself and stop teaching my kids to be spoiled and entitled. She said that the fact that I was 'willing' to miss thanksgiving with the family over something so trivial shows my real character and personality and mindset or 'lack thereof.' I have not replied but I feel horrible."

Navigating a blended family like this one is a tricky undertaking, according to Dr. Bahjat Balbous, a psychiatrist at the Euromed Clinic Dubai.

He told Newsweek: "First of all, I presume your partner was supportive of your decision to give up work and study, while also doing the bulk of the childcare. If that is the case, then I presume you had a thorough discussion about how the money side of family life would work and that all children should benefit from the same opportunities, irrespective of who their biological parent is.

"If you have not had this chat, I suggest you do it now with your [fiancé] and establish some rules so that situations such as the one you experienced at the airport are not recurring incidents," Balbous said.

What happened at the airport was inexcusable, he said, especially since it was not previously discussed, and leaving was the right thing to do because it showed her children that their mother is always on their side.

"I suggest that once you have spoken to your [fiancé], and this should be done calmly, and agreed on a way forward for future family costs, including trips, you and he devise a set of family rules, based on mutual respect," Balbous said.

"Once this has been done, sit down with all of your children and explain clearly and matter-of-factly these rules and that name calling, preferential treatment, etcetera shall not be tolerated. Insist to them all that they are all valued as individuals and shall be treated with the same love, care and thought within your blended family," he said.

The post, which was first shared on the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, where users discuss their actions with strangers, has received over 20,400 upvotes and 3,000 comments.

One user, corgwin, commented: "[Not the A******]. His kids in first class, your kids in economy? That's a bad sign for the future. Then his response is to berate you and future MIL calling your kids spoiled and entitled? Even worse. It would not have ended here. I would be done with that relationship."

Solo_throwaway254247 said: "[You Would Be the A******] if you stayed with him after this. He has shown you just how much he values your children. They will always be second thoughts to him. And he will use your lack of a job to control you. Do you want to put your kids through that? Leave him before you deplete your savings."

And DemainTomorrow wrote: "[Not the A******]. Your fiancé seems to [be] missing the point: it's not that you expected your kids to be in 1st class, but that once everyone else was in 1st class, it was not okay to put them in economy. I would be very worried about how he treats your kids in comparison to his own from now on.

"My brother's widow is remarried to someone who makes a lot of money. I can assure that he treats her kids exactly as how he treats his own," DemainTomorrow said.

Newsweek reached out to u/thethrowaway156 for comment and could not verify the details of the case.