Fury as Parent Refuses to Pay Daughter to Babysit Siblings: 'Privileged'

An age gap between children can be frustrating for the eldest, who may have extra chores like babysitting—and in one instance, a parent has been slammed online for refusing to pay their 20-year-old daughter to look after her twin brothers.

In a now-viral post, u/Throwaway476905 has been dragged by other Redditors, who have reminded the parent that the five-year-old twins aren't the daughter's responsibility.

Newsweek reached out to positive parenting coach Anisa Lewis, who suggested there might be a "breakdown in communication" between the Redditor and daughter.

Explaining their situation, the original poster (OP) states the daughter lives rent-free in the home and that they pay for her college fees. The student has some household chores and looks after the twins three times a week while the Redditor is at work or with their girlfriend.

But recently, the young woman expressed her feelings about the babysitting duties.

"She told me she's okay with cooking and cleaning around the house, but having to watch over her siblings was annoying & stressful and that it's taking away from her studies. That p***** me off because I myself went to school while having to pay bills and take care of her as a baby alongside my ex-wife. I told her she was acting very privileged and that if I could do it, so could she. She didn't like that very much and stormed off into her room," the OP wrote.

Following this conversation, the daughter told her aunt who discussed it with the Redditor. The aunt suggested an allowance for the chores, but the parent isn't too keen on the idea.

Speaking to Newsweek, Lewis, a UK-based mentor, advises the parent and daughter to have a conversation and set boundaries.

She said: "If the boundaries around what they wanted back for it were not made clear from the start then this is where the misunderstanding starts. If it is simply 'assumed' that the elder daughter will help out, rather than sitting down and talking it through, listening to understand both sides of the situation, this is where the resentment builds.

"I would say that it makes sense for an older sibling to look after younger siblings as long as they are capable of doing so. The benefit here is that they are looked after by someone familiar and they are able to be in their own home.

"Babysitting on a regular basis, where the expectation is that they may need to collect from school, feed them, play, ensure they stay safe this is where as a parent I would consider paying a child for, as the responsibility factor is bigger than simply emptying the dishwasher."

Over 5,000 people have commented on the post and many feel the same as the expert.

The top comment has received 30,300 upvotes, it said: "YTA [you're the a******], because I myself went to school while having to pay bills & take care of her as a baby alongside." That was your own baby and your own decision, same as now. [Your] daughter has no kids, it's not her responsibility."

Another person said: "I agree she shouldn't get an allowance for doing chores, but she absolutely should get paid for watching children she didn't choose to have - since they're her siblings, not children."

"Probably made the wife do everything and that's why she's an ex now," said another.

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwaway476905 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.

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