Grieving Widow Backed for Kicking Brother Out of House

A woman was praised online when she revealed that she kicked her brother and his wife out of her home after discovering they gave away her late husband's piano.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/Throwaway69509765, posted about her situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 12,400 upvotes and 2,300 comments. The post can be found here.

Sibling Conflict

Research into sibling jealousy has also shown that childhood sibling resentment often carries into adulthood. One study conducted by Oakland University found that about 30 percent of respondents felt apathy or animosity toward their adult siblings.

As Marlene F. Watson, Ph.D., LMFT, and Ackerman Institute for the Family director of training told Newsweek, sibling conflict in adulthood often stems from skewed perceptions of their siblings.

"People get locked into specific roles and how one perceives the other," Watson said. "Some of it is determined by gender or culture. For example, let's say you have someone who has been perceived as the most successful in the family, sometimes the other siblings see that as an obligation to help them."

She explained that this feeling of obligation, or sense of being owed, is common but often leads siblings to enable each other's unhealthy choices.

"By virtue of being in a family, there are obligatory ties that we may have such as showing up for holiday dinner," Watson said. "We develop these expectations within the family about what we should get and they don't disappear just because we become adults."

Some of these expectations can be as simple as wishing someone a happy birthday and as complex as having a family move in during a hard time.

"There might be one sibling who has been identified as 'the good sibling' or the 'nice one' and that's the person, generally, that one will take advantage of," Watson said. "As siblings, you have to think about if you are enabling the behavior or not."

She said it is important for individuals to set strict boundaries with siblings to ensure that they aren't manipulated and that they are not enabling a sibling's behavior.

"Just because someone gives you the role of the good sibling doesn't mean that you have to accept it or that you have to do things that you really don't want to do," she said.

But most importantly, Watson said it is important to save yourself the "anguish" and energy of being angry by accepting forgiveness.

"Learn how to forgive and then set your boundaries and stick to them," she said.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for giving my brother and his wife 2 days to return my piano?" the 32-year-old woman said her late husband passed away six months ago.

She said that after they met, she developed an interest for piano since her husband was a piano teacher.

"He taught me to play it and he helped me buy one (used one but still a bit expensive) 2 years ago," the post read. "I play it everyday, after his passing. I just find comfort spending time playing."

However, the OP explained that her brother and his wife came to stay with her for the past two months after losing their apartment and often complain about her playing.

Although she only plays during the day, she said her sister-in-law and brother told her to only play when they were not home and that she refused.

'Last Ditch Effort'

"Yesterday, I was out with friends for the day then I came in the evening, I found that my piano was gone," the post read. "Turns out my brother had moved it to a friend's garage while I was gone."

The OP said she "blew up" at her brother and said he had no right to touch or move her piano. The OP's sister-in-law responded that this was a "last ditch effort" to get "peace and quiet in the house."

Her brother then said he would return the piano once he and his wife find their own place and that she would "get to live alone" to "play piano all day long."

"He was sarcastic in his last line and couldn't take it. I told them to pack and leave my house because they were no longer welcome after this," the post read. "He freaked out and tried begging me to take it easy and be more rational, but I threatened to call the police if they refused to leave."

The OP's brother then packed up with his family and left but said he would only give the piano back if she agreed to let them move back in.

"They believe that what happened was a misunderstanding and everyone of us mishandled the situation so they want to start new," the post read. "I lost it and told them they have 2 days to return it or I'll call the cops on them."

But the OP's mother is "pressuring" her to let her brother and his family back at her home because it was "her fault" for not having "consideration" for her guests. Now, the OP is being called "irrational" and "cruel" for kicking him out and "watching him struggle."

Redditor Reactions

More than 2,200 users commented on the post, many urging the OP to contact the authorities and report her brother and his wife.

"You're still grieving and your AH brother (and mom??) pulls this stunt on you what the f**k?! He's gonna put the piano on craigslist for some quick cash after he had to move out...wake up!! Call the cops today!!! NTA."

"NTA, it's your place and your piano," another commented. "GET THE COPS INVOLVED. They had no right to pull this crap with you. It's your home, your property. The audacity is mind blowing. They are taking advantage of you so graciously giving them a place to stay, especially in such a difficult time of life for you."

"Make that police report now," another user commented. "They have had their chance to be reasonable and do the right thing but they haven't. They don't deserve any more warnings."

"You could also try posting on social media tagging your brother so his friends see—let them know that whoever is storing the piano is currently storing a stolen item and they have XX hours to return it before the police become involved?" another user suggested. "You just know he hasn't told the truth to whoever is keeping it!"

"I'm shocked that anyone, especially your own mother, would condone the a**holeyness of your brother's behavior. This was not his home, it was yours," another commented. "He had no rights to dictate your actions, or touch your property, much less hold it hostage to make more demands???"

Newsweek reached out to u/Throwaway69509765 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.