Woman Declining Invite To Stepsister's Wedding Branded 'Unreasonable'

A woman's decision to possibly skip their step-sister's wedding has been slammed online.

In a viral post to the U.K.-based discussion forum Mumsnet, which can be seen here, user HR313 explained they had fallen out with their stepmother but were now invited to their step-sister's wedding.

HR313 added the family had celebrated the father's 60th birthday at a holiday lodge, but that there was a big falling that led them to no longer speak.

User HR313 explained they had received an invitation to attend part of her step-sister's wedding—something that was interpreted as an "olive branch."

Rima Barakeh, wedding expert and deputy editor of Hitched.co.uk told Newsweek the, invitation needed to be carefully considered: "This may very well be the family holding out an olive branch.

"Could they be using the wedding reception invite as a way to make amends and put the family argument to bed?

"If so, you need to consider how declining the wedding invitation may come across to them. If the argument caused as big of a rift as it sounds, I can't imagine sending the invitation would have been an easy thing to do."

The Mumsnet user asked for advice and added: "Her daughter is due to be married next year and as a family we had all been invited (myself, partner, daughter and bump at the time who would be 1.5-years-old at the time of wedding) so we've just received a 'wedding reception' invite and no longer invited to the whole day.

"[It] says they aren't having kids at their wedding which is fine—one day when they have kids I hope someone tells them they can't have their children attend some function.

"Anyway—due to not seeing my step mom/ sister since the said incident I'm now thinking we will politely decline. Or shall we turn up and go?

"I'm not expected to make amends but if we don't go we will look like we are just as stupid as them for falling out with us in the first place. What should I do?"

Barakeh said the gesture was a "gesture of goodwill" even if they were no longer invited to the whole event.

She continued: "On the point of not inviting children—as inconvenient as this may be for some—it's pretty common for couples to plan a child-free wedding.

"Lots of people decide not to have children at their wedding, and there are a number of reasons why they do so. It's important to not take that as a personal dig or insult—try not to let that aspect of the invitation affect your ultimate decision to go.

"What's a wedding without a bit of family drama? It's really difficult when family disagreements and fall-outs cause tension strong enough to impact such a big occasion. This person isn't the first to find themselves in a situation like that, and there's no doubt they won't be the last.

"When advising couples on who they should and shouldn't invite, I'd always encourage them to consider what future-them would want. In 20 years' time when you look back at your wedding, you don't want to have any regrets about who was, or wasn't there.

"My advice? Go. Go to the wedding with the best intentions possible and, if all doesn't go to plan, you can sleep well knowing that you gave it a go. You may be pleasantly surprised at how it all turns out."

The invitation divided opinion among Mumsnet users, with many writing the poster should attend—while others asked them to decline.

User gettingolderbutcooler said: "That would be a bit mean of you. They were nice enough to invite you to the reception. Lots of people don't want kids at the wedding, there are loads of threads about it. Can't you just gracefully accept? Have a nice time?"

SalmonElie posted: "Honestly, I don't think you should accept the invitation unless you want to make amends and get back in contact with them and be a part of their lives again where is your father in all this?"

NoelNoNoel commented: "I would accept the invite, if it was me I'd probably reach out to the mother before so you don't feel as awkward at the wedding."

DrMarciaFieldstone added: "Yabu [you are being unreasonable] to make snide comments about them not having children at their wedding. That's common and absolutely their prerogative. It sounds like an olive branch, go if you want to make up with her, don't you don't."