Guest Refusing to Help Bride With Childcare After 'Emergency' Injury Slated

A bride's cousin has been slammed for not helping out at the wedding, after a family emergency left the newlyweds without childcare.

The relative shared the dilemma to Mumsnet, under username Wednnite, on Thursday, amassing more than 900 responses.

It was later deleted, but not before it sparked a fierce debate. Explaining the situation, Wednnite explained their cousin got married over summer.

The bride's mom and dad were watching the couple's kids, as Wednnite explained the parents were scheduled to watch the children for the wedding night and during the honeymoon.

But the bride's dad fell while dancing, meaning a trip to the ER was needed as he couldn't walk.

The mother-of-the bride has an "integral role" at a wedding, Brides.com said. She can give a speech, and often spends the day with her daughter helping her get ready for the ceremony.

The father-of-the-bride traditionally pays for the wedding, as the site said: "The father of the bride has two major tasks: Give a speech at the reception and participate in the father-daughter dance."

There's also the maid of honor, best man, bridesmaids and groomsmen, but this bride was left with asking her cousin for a favor as everyone else was too drunk.

Wednnite wrote: "After they [parents] left my cousin [bride] approached me and my husband about watching their kids. I told her how we had actually planned on leaving soon because we had a long drive home (over 2 hours).

"She was actually asking us to watch her kids at her mum's house for the night as they didn't know how long they would be at the hospital. She mentioned how we were the only ones that weren't drunk and so she had no one else to ask."

The guest admitted they and their husband "aren't big drinkers," unlike their relatives.

Wednnite continued: "Nowadays I'm not particularly close with my cousin. We get along fine, but I don't see her very often anymore. Basically just for major family events like weddings. That also means I don't see her children very often."

They explained the kids were 3 and 5, and they weren't "comfortable" watching the "unruly" kids overnight.

The guest continued: "Especially since I would have had to do it on my own because my husband would have had to go back home to relieve our babysitter. This meant that he would have had to drive back the next day to come and get me.

"So another day of almost 5 hours of driving. I didn't have had any other clothes aside from the dress I was wearing or toiletries either. All in all it just seemed like too much."

They made up their mind, told their cousin no, and left with their husband. But now, months later, they said they're "still getting criticized about not helping family out in an emergency."

Weddings have had their fair share of upheaval, with the COVID-19 pandemic seeing many canceled, downsized and rescheduled.

While the industry is bouncing back after restrictions were lifted, Brides Editorial Director Gabriella Rello Duffy told Newsweek that brides should still have a contingency plan in place.

"In 2022, an emergency plan is absolutely essential. Every couple should have a backup plan in case of weather, illness, or some other event that impacts the ability to have the wedding as initially envisioned.

"In general, you won't need to ask guests to remain sober. A typical wedding venue will be staffed throughout the night, and an on-site coordinator (or your own hired wedding planner) will take over in the case of an emergency," she said.

The issue of children at the wedding is still a personal choice, although the budget may be a factor, as Duffy noted: "For others still, they will choose not to invite children so that their adult guests can fully enjoy themselves and not feel as though they have to tend to their little ones.

"If you do want to have childcare at your wedding, ask the venue for their recommendations. Most have a roster of go-to babysitters you can hire for the evening, and they'll entertain children so that parents can enjoy the party."

The chart below, provided by Statista, shows when people get married.

You will find more infographics at Statista

In the post, Wednnite added: "Sure my cousin's dad had an emergency, but all that meant was they had to watch their own kids for the night.

"They didn't miss their flight to go on their honeymoon as that was in the afternoon the next day and her mum was able to pick the kids up in the morning. The only thing they missed was a night alone at home."

Numerous commenters felt the cousin could have helped the bride out, as Notonthestairs wrote: "If I am prepared to go someone's wedding then I usually like them enough to help them out in an emergency/unexpected event. I would have expected a lift home the next day though!"

Misstes wrote: "Of course you should of helped it was their wedding night. You say you're not close yet you are close enough to get invited and then travel hours to get to their wedding."

AryaStarkWolf said: "On their wedding night, yeah I definitely would have helped them out."

Maddy68 agreed, saying: "It was their wedding day. Of course you should have looked after them. I can't believe you didn't."

YellowTreeHouse fumed: "You were very selfish. It was their wedding night."

While Hibernationsetting added: "Yeah, I would have helped. I think you were mean spirited."

Some sympathized, as MeowMeowPowerRangers pointed out: "YANBU [you are not being unreasonable], the mum could of took the dad to hospital and came and collected the kids and dad got a taxi home. I wouldn't of watched them either."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.