Man Applauded for 'Ruining' Brother's Life on Wedding Day

Commenters in a popular internet forum were divided after a man was told he "ruined" his brother's life after telling the groom that his ex-girlfriend had tried to contact him the night before his wedding.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/fatf**kitis, posted about the incident in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received over 10,700 upvotes and 2,000 comments. The post can be found here.

Family Secrets

The now-viral post had commenters debating whether or not the OP should have kept this information a secret from his brother, but Amanda Craig, a licensed marriage and family therapist, told Newsweek it is not often recommended to keep secrets.

"People would rather hear the truth than be lied to," she said. "Even when the truth is hard. I don't know that keeping information ever protects."

She added that although individuals often feel that by telling a secret they are gossiping, this is not the case.

"Gossip is not holding a secret. Gossip is sharing a story that isn't yours to share," Craig said.

'AITA?'

In the post, the OP explained that his brother, 25, started dating a woman referred to as "Big Shirl" in sixth grade.

Titled "AITA for telling my brother (I was his best man) that his toxic but 'love of his life' ex was trying to get in touch with him the night before his wedding?" the post continued on about how Big Shirl and his brother were beyond "toxic" together.

"We have they have well over a decade of torturing the f**k out of each other," the post read. "To say they have broken up and gotten back together well over 1000 times is another understatement."

While enduring the "rollercoaster ride" of a relationship, the OP's family witnessed his brother meet great women and dump them for Big Shirl multiple times.

"It has been about 2 years since their last breakup and he met a girl named Karli who is literally a peach," the post read. "We all love everything about her. My brother finally went no contact with Big Shirl at the time he met Karli and has had 2 years of relationship bliss."

'Ruined His Life'

Recently, while playing poker and smoking cigars during a "low-key" bachelor party, Big Shirl texted the OP asking if the wedding was still happening.

"I said yes and to not bother him," the post read. "She said to please let him know her heart was breaking but she'd be his personal bachelor party if he was so inclined."

Although the OP did not tell his brother during the bachelor party, he said he made a joke about Big Shirl contacting him and saw the blood drain from his brother's face.

During the wedding, Karli discovered her now-husband speaking to Big Shirl on the phone.

"They had a huge fight and while they tried to put on a good face for the rest of the reception...it was cold as ice for the rest of the night," the post read. "My brother came over now and said that I 'ruined his life' by telling me that Big Shirl had gotten in touch with me."

The OP said that his brother and Karli have not stopped fighting since the wedding and they are thinking about canceling their upcoming honeymoon.

"My brother totally blames me and says I should have known better," the post read. "Was I the a**hole for telling him that Big Shirl was trying to get in touch with him?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 2,000 users commented on the post, but many differed on who they believed was in the wrong.

"NTA. Karlie deserves better than marrying a guy who is so hung up on his toxic ex that he calls her from the reception hall," one user commented.

"If mentioning someone's name causes this reaction, he has no business getting married. You are showing Karli who he is early so she can hopefully run," another commented.

"Your brother is to blame here of course. Dude has zero impulse control with anything Big Shirl related. He honestly sounds like he needs help letting her go," another commented. "But you must have known bringing his ex up would not end well - even if he didn't end up calling her - but you did it anyway on his wedding day."

Other users thought the OP was at fault for sharing the news, with some even saying everyone involved "sucks."

"ESH. You don't bring up exes on a wedding day, point blank. You could have mentioned it after," one user commented. "That being said, your brother also clearly sucks if the mere mention of his ex being a possible option is enough to destroy the entire wedding day and put his (what was supposed to be lifelong) relationship into jeopardy."

"YTA- but your brother is in no place to being marrying Karli when he's still so emotionally hung up on his ex.."

"ESH except poor Karli. OP, your brother fought to break free of a drug he was addicted to for more than half his life," another commented. "You held it up in front of him at the worst possible time. And you were the best man, even?! What a horrible thing to do."

Newsweek reached out to u/fatf**kitis for comment.

Other Viral Posts

Commenters in another post recently criticized a groom over his reaction to being told his half-brother would not attend his wedding.

In other viral posts, a bride was applauded for suggesting one of her wedding guests had an "alcohol problem" while another bride was criticized after excluding her fiancé's stepmom from her stepson's table at the wedding.