Man Bringing Pregnant Wife to Tears Over Dinner Leaves Internet Conflicted

Members of a popular internet forum were torn after one soon-to-be father detailed the dinnertime argument that ended with his pregnant wife leaving their home.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Annual-Eye-9459 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said he has been at his wife's beck and call for months and explained how his chronic pain condition and long workdays pushed his patience to its limit.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for telling my pregnant wife to stop acting like a child?" the post has received nearly 10,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments since October 9.

"I (35m) and my wife (33f) are currently expecting our first child in December," OP began.

Continuing to explain that a "slew" of health issues causes him chronic pain, the original poster said his job is demanding and painful, and that he is the only employed member of his household.

The original poster also said that, since his wife discovered she was pregnant, her expectations for his behavior have shot through the roof, despite his persistently unbearable pain.

"I understand pregnancy is hard, but it's gotten to the point she won't even make food or clean the house sometimes," OP wrote. "She's been [whining] and complaining constantly since the moment she took the test.

"She expected me to cook and clean as soon as I got home every night [and] the straw that broke the camel's back happened a couple days ago," OP continued. "I had just gotten home from a 10 hour shift, and was having a [flare] up ... [so] I told her I've had a terrible day and to just [DoorDash] something.

"She said she can only eat home-cooked meals and that everything else makes her sick ... I yelled at her and told her I've had the worst day and she needs to stop complaining and be an adult," OP added. "She started crying. I immediately apologized ... but she left anyway ... now the beans are spilled and all the women in our family are mad at me and my wife still won't f**king speak to me."

Despite the excitement that comes with a pregnancy, and the ultimate desire to welcome a healthy baby, the months leading up to birth can be difficult for everybody.

"No matter how much partners desire a child, pregnancy is a relationship-changing experience," clinical psychologist and Joy From Fear author Dr. Carla Manly told Newsweek. "Even when both partners are in excellent health, pregnancy can present significant challenges on mental, emotional and physical levels."

Additional factors, like chronic pain, mental health issues and significant work stress, magnify those challenges, often causing breakdowns in communication between loving partners.

"At a time when healthy communication is essential," Manly added, "connective discussions are sometimes put on the back burner."

When the stress that comes with pregnancy is combined with other stresses, stemming from chronic pain or overwhelming work responsibilities, the potential for tension also increases.

And, according to Stefanie Barthmare, psychotherapist and author of Sacred Partnerships: Guided Journal Practices for Building Intimacy and Connection, that stress concoction is sure to create emotional turmoil between soon-to-be parents.

"[There are] so many possible reasons that couples argue more when they feel stretched thin and have increased demands ... as they do during pregnancy" Barthmare told Newsweek. "[A] shift in priorities and focus may cause partners to feel less patient, less generous and less spontaneous with one another, which is a perfect recipe for an increase in conflict.

"For a couple with one partner who is already facing chronic or debilitating pain, this change in priorities can heighten an already difficult situation," Barthmare added.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors echoed that sentiment, claiming that both the original poster and his wife are partially to blame for their falling out, and that their circumstances are more difficult than most.

"[Everyone sucks here]," Redditor u/ThinEscape511 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 24,000 upvotes. "I lived with chronic pain and I've been pregnant. So I can compare.

"It sounds like neither of you want to actually be supportive," they continued. "It's more of a competition of who has it worse."

Redditor u/RoseTyler38, whose comment has received more than 7,000 upvotes, offered a more hopeful response.

"You've got chronic health issues and she's pregnant," they wrote. "You need to come together and solve the problem as a team, the way you both agreed to do when you exchanged rings.

"Do the responsible adult thing and employ open, honest, direct and respectful communication to figure out a way to get things done in a way that suits everyone's needs," they continued.

"Pregnancy is hard. Working a physical job while in chronic pain is hard," Redditor u/Illuminator007 chimed in, receiving nearly 2,500 upvotes. "And none of this is going to get any easier once you have a newborn in the house.

"You and your wife need to find a way to communicate better, or this goes downhill in a hurry," they added.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Annual-Eye-9459 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.