Woman Defended for Leaving Sister's Kids at Child-Free Wedding: 'Unhinged'

Internet commenters rallied in defense of one medical student who left her sister's kids at a wedding specifically intended for adults only.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/LogosH434 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she was unexpectedly stuck with three children and detailed the heated aftermath of her decision to bring the kids back to their mother.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for dropping my sister's kids at the child free wedding that she was at?" the post has received nearly 25,000 upvotes and 3,500 comments since October 8.

"My free time is very limited and I have lots and lots of commitments," OP began. "My sister ... has 3 kids all under 10 and she often expects me to babysit ... at random times with very short notice."

Continuing to explain that her sister was recently scheduled to attend a child-free wedding, OP said she was surprised to learn she'd be responsible for the kids during the wedding, and was adamant that she could not take care of them.

OP also said she was forced to take the children, much to her dismay.

"I had to study for my upcoming exam but next thing I knew, the kids were at my [doorstep] and she was already back in the car," OP wrote. "I was so pissed I couldn't handle it.

"I decided to get dressed 30 minutes later and take the kids right where their mom and dad were," OP continued. "My sister was shocked. She started shouting after me but I quickly got into the car and drove off.

"She sent [a] few texts calling me unhinged and a 'f**king b**ch' for putting her in this situation and embarrassing her in front of her friends," OP added. "Her husband called later ... [and] scolded me, saying that it wouldn't hurt if I kept the kids for a few hours, and then expressed how disappointed he was and how selfish and petty I was."

For some parents, child-free weddings represent inconvenience and an extra childcare expense.

For others, child-free weddings are an opportunity to let loose without worry, and without the never-ending list of parental responsibilities.

Adults-only weddings are also becoming increasingly popular, and according to Alexis Eliopoulos O'Mara, master wedding consultant and owner of Unique Weddings by Alexis, keeping kids out can help decrease risks and costs on a couple's big day.

"What could be considered as other advantages to some couples is a dance floor without children [and] no possibility of a child knocking over the wedding cake or tripping up a server," Eliopoulos O'Mara told Newsweek. "This decision can also be viewed as ... cost-saving to have less guests in attendance at the wedding."

Despite the reduced potential for pitfalls, there are many parents who loathe having to leave their kids elsewhere to attend a wedding.

In 2019, Today's Parent contributor Karen Pinchin labeled child-free weddings "insulting," and said that prohibiting children from attending takes away a parent's ability to make their own decision based on their own judgment.

"If you love and trust the people you're inviting to your wedding, then love and trust that they will make the best decision for you on your big day," Pinchin wrote. "By explicitly saying 'adults only' or 'no kids,' these invitations are dictating terms, taking guests' best judgment out of the matter entirely."

Eliopoulos O'Mara echoed that sentiment, noting that some parents will refuse to attend weddings if their children are not allowed. She also asserted that cordiality is imperative, no matter a parent's opinion on child-free weddings.

"Regardless of how someone feels about an adult-only reception, they should respect the wishes of the couple," Eliopoulos O'Mara said. "Couples typically put a great deal of effort into making this type of decision."

When those wishes aren't respected, parents are sure to face consequences, including ejection, embarrassment and the wrath of perturbed guests.

"Any unexpected guests on the day of will create logistic challenges," Brides Editorial Director Gabriella Rello Duffy told Newsweek. "The guests bringing a child also need to think of the child's comfort, and how their restlessness might affect the rest of the guests.

"An event that was created to be adults only will likely be boring for a child, who might quickly find ways to distract themselves that might disrupt other event guests," Rello Duffy added.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, however, Redditors remained focused on OP and her sister, rather than the newly married couple.

"[Not the a**hole]!" Redditor u/Ducky818 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 44,000 upvotes. "Your sister dropped her kids off at your [house] without prior arrangements ... she thinks she's entitled to everyone else's time and help.

"Hint: she's not," they continued. "You didn't do this to your sister. She did it to herself."

Redditor u/EJ_1004, whose comment has received more than 5,000 upvotes, offered a similar response.

"They are extremely inconsiderate and they have the nerve to try to scold you," they exclaimed. "They're trying to blame you for the direct result of their own actions."

"Your sister is disrespecting your life and commitments because she really does feel hers is more important," Redditor u/Impressive-Amoeba-97 added, receiving nearly 2,500 upvotes.

"They presumably had months to figure out childcare arrangements ... and then run away and get mad when you return THEIR kids to THEM," Redditor u/PrincessSnowflake495 chimed in. "You have to study, your time is limited ... and suddenly you [were] forced into a situation you did not plan for nor agree to."

Newsweek reached out to u/LogosH434 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

Update 10/11/22, 11:00 p.m. ET: This article was updated with additional information and background.