Man Cheered for Refusing To Attend Estranged Mom's Funeral: 'She Was Evil'

A man has been backed online for refusing to be part of his mother's funeral.

In a post shared on December 21 by Reddit user u/Pure-Device7446 that has since been deleted, the man explained his complex relationship with his late mother.

"My mother died two days ago," the man wrote. "My siblings were all with her when she died. I was not. She was a bully to me and hated my guts as long as I can remember."

Long Island, New York-based licensed clinical social worker Jennifer Bohr-Cuevas told Newsweek: "When an estranged parent dies, how you react is a very personal choice. A range of emotions can occur—some may feel a sense of relief while others suffer a complicated grief."

Sharing some history, the man explained: "She gave me a horrific childhood and my dad died when we were all young, so I was left to watch her dote on my siblings and treat me like s***. I got to hear all the time that I ruined her life, that she wished she had aborted me, that she dreamed of me dying and getting relief of knowing she'd never have to see me again."

The man lived with friends from the age of 15 and shared how he hadn't seen his mother since his 20th birthday.

"I never told her I was gay, never introduced her to my husband or my children. When my siblings called to tell me she was dying I was so happy. Knowing she's gone, knowing that the woman who hated me for reasons out of my control, who made sure I know how much she never wanted me, filled me with such a feeling of relief," he said.

His siblings, heartbroken, had asked him to be a part of funeral arrangements, but he refused.

"I told them no way, no how. I said she was a great mother to them and that was fine, but she was evil to me, she was evil and made my childhood hell and I was not some grieving son and was not spending a single second giving her a nice send-off, or spending a single cent on it either," he said.

But his siblings did not understand and were hurt. They told him that it would look bad if he was not involved.

"The fighting just keeps on going and it actually delayed the funeral planning," he said. "They get mad and tell me I am treating them badly. Am I the a******?"

But in over 1,000 comments, Redditors rushed to side with the man and told him that he was right to refuse involvement with his estranged mother's funeral.

"They are so out of line," said one commenter. "I am sorry you didn't get the mother you deserved. Mute them on your phone and social media."

Another said: "They are being unfair and they are treating it as if your mom wasn't abusive towards you. You don't have to do anything for them because it seems like they never had your back."

Bohr-Cuevas explained: "To process the loss of an estranged parent, recognize that grief shows up as many different emotions. Validate and release your feelings. Create a support system. Seek out professional help if the grief is overwhelming. Most importantly, give yourself time."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

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