Man Defended for Heckling Wife After Losing Dream Job Offer: 'So Close'

Members of a popular internet forum were reluctant to defend one man who made light of his wife's misfortune, but offered the 33-year-old a pass as a result of the critical treatment he has long endured.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Chemical_Eagle1007 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) described his wife as controlling and detailed her seeming need to undermine his every action, as well the heated aftermath of his decision to finally turn the tables.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for telling my wife she was 'so close' to getting her dream job?" the post has received nearly 21,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments since October 16.

"Since the start of our relationship, my wife has been very particular about how things get done," OP began. "While this bothers me, it has never been a true dealbreaker."

Continuing to explain that his wife consistently jokes that he was "so close" to correctly completing tasks—from washing dishes to taking photos to completing work projects—OP said he asked her to stop, but was told the condescension is actually a compliment.

OP also said that when his wife was turned away from a dream job opportunity, he could not help but notice just how close she was to accomplishing one of her largest goals.

"For the last two months my wife has been undergoing an intensive hiring process for a job in our city," OP wrote. "She got to the very final stage where the company was considering two people.

"On Friday, she got 'the call' telling her thanks for her application but blah blah blah, record on file, all that jazz," OP continued. "My wife came to me crying. I immediately comforted her and 'You were so close' blurted out.

"Her head whipped up and she asked what I meant by that [and] I said she was so close to getting the job, but was just a bit off," OP added. "She immediately walked out to stay at her friends house, where she is currently sulking."

One of the most common pieces of advice given to working people is to never mix business and pleasure.

But complete separation is rare, and even for those capable of keeping their work and personal lives on opposite sides of the fence, there is always the possibility for jobs to affect relationships and vice versa.

Data published by a variety of sources has shown that employees in certain fields have much higher divorce rates than others.

And while Insider reports that actuaries, physical scientists and those working in medicine are less likely to experience divorce, bartenders, flight attendants, gaming managers and other casino employees are far more likely to suffer separation as a result of their job.

When it comes to how work and romantic relationships interact, however, individuals bear a certain level of responsibility to support their partner's career goals and ambitions.

"Partners who truly want to support each other's goals and ambitions realize that love is shown through actions," Dr. Carla Marie Manly, clinical psychologist and Joy From Fear author, told Newsweek. "Partners who slow down to mindfully tune into each other's goals, ambitions and dreams tend to reap lasting benefits inside and outside of their relationship."

Manly also noted that while support from a romantic partner can help career success, the opposite can be true as well.

"Those who are hypercritical and negative tend to [be] strong inner critics that strike out at others," she said. "If one or both partner's actions are negative and disempowering...partners will grow apart."

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors offered a similar perspective, pointing to the blatant lack of support between OP and his wife as cause for concern.

"[Everyone sucks here]," Redditor u/Fmeson commented, receiving nearly 14,000 upvotes.

"Your wife is an a**hole for constantly giving minor back handed insults. You are the a**hole for kicking her while she's down," they continued. "Y'all could benefit from some counseling."

"Your wife doesn't even respect you enough...to stop using a phrase you find condescending, but boy you sure got her good using her own words against her in a very vulnerable moment," Redditor u/pennywhistlesmoonpie added, receiving nearly 2,000 upvotes. "Sounds like a happy couple."

In the post's top comment, which has received close to 60,000 upvotes, Redditor u/Invisigoth2113 begrudgingly said that OP was justified in using his wife's words against her.

"Man, you were so close to being the a**hole," they wrote, sarcastically. "But after all you've endured, [not the a**hole]."

"You just confirmed that every time she's thrown that line at you, it was never a compliment," Redditor u/mmmmkay23 chimed in, receiving more than 11,000 upvotes. "She got a taste of her crappy medicine and didn't like it."

Newsweek reached out to u/Chemical_Eagle1007 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.