Man Refusing to Eat Wife's Birthday Cake and Baking His Own Instead Cheered

A man has been backed for making his own birthday cake despite his wife buying him one.

In a viral Reddit post, u/Whole_Ferret9774 has been voted 'not the a******' and received 8,600 upvotes.

The 32-year-old man spoke about a homemade chocolate-covered cherry cake he has always had on his birthday since childhood. But this year, his partner of six years had other plans which caused a stir and created a "cold" atmosphere.

Newsweek contacted a dating expert to find out how the issue could be resolved.

The Redditor told other users he has been married to his wife for a year. He said: "We've either baked it together, my parents made it, or I've made it on my own. I've never asked or expected her to do it."

According to the leadership development app BetterUp, a "family tradition is an activity or pattern of behavior that reflects a family's values, interests, or beliefs. Once established, it will hopefully be passed down through the generations. It represents your specific family unit and is like your own family culture."

The app points out traditions are important as they can create a sense of comfort and security. Traditions can also give family members a sense of belonging.

Every year, this Redditor said he has a cherry cake but this year, his wife said she didn't feel like baking. Determined to have his favorite dessert, the user said he would bake it himself.

But the day before his birthday, the OP found two cheesecakes with "Happy Birthday" written between them in the fridge.

His wife explained they are the cakes for his party. He said: "She thought of switching things up this year since "everyone loves cheesecake."

The OP explained they get a cheesecake monthly and reiterated that he likes cherry cake on his special day.

"I told her I appreciate it and they look good but I really want the cake I like so I was going to make mine and we'll just let everyone have a choice of what cake they want. She got p***** off and yelled that I ruined her attempt to make things easier on us by not having to bake and bringing a cake that everyone would love."

The OP, who took to the Internet on October 30 to find out if he was in the wrong, said his wife was "cold at the party and is still acting cold."

"Usually, I move mountains and heaven to give her the things she wants on her birthdays and celebrate how she wants, I just wanted one specific cake for mine," he wrote.

Speaking to Newsweek, dating expert Emyli Lovz, said: "I don't think it's really about the cake for her. It's likely that she's feeling resentful about something else, perhaps something related to the cake, but to fly off the handle about something so small usually is a signal that something else is bothering the person."

"What's best is for both partners to sit down, in person, and talk about what's happening, using "I" statements rather than "you" statements like "I felt hurt when you were cold to me about the cake I wanted for my birthday" rather than "you didn't listen to me about what I wanted."

"I'd recommend he ask her what's really bothering her and see if she can dig into her subconscious a bit deeper. Perhaps she felt guilty that she didn't want to make the cake or maybe it's something unrelated happening at work or in her personal life and it's just being projected onto him. Either way, communication is key."

What Do the Comments Say?

One comment, which has received 14,000 upvotes, said: "It's weird for her to have even bothered asking what kind of cake you want if she was going to ignore you and choose her favorite cake instead. Also, I've never heard of a party being ruined by too much cake, that's patently absurd. Is she weirdly controlling about other things as well or is this just because she's doesn't like chocolate cherry cake? I don't get it."

"Seriously! I love cake, but my boyfriend doesn't. So guess what I WON'T be making him for his birthday?" wrote one user.

"She's really weird and selfish. Not sure why OP is with someone who won't do the bare minimum on his special day," said another user.

Newsweek reached out to u/Whole_Ferret9774 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.