Mom Banning In-Laws Posting Baby Pics on Social Media to 'Showboat' Cheered

A mom has been cheered for asking her family not to post pictures of her child on social media.

In a post on London-based Internet forum Mumsnet on Monday, user OptimusPrime31 explained her dilemma as she worried about the potential dangers of her child's image being online.

"It feels like they're just posting photos to showboat to people at work or their neighbours," said the mom.

Research has found that 92 percent of American children will have some form of online presence by the time they are two years old, while more than a third of children will have so-called "digital lives" before they are even born, as parents share scan pictures and updates during pregnancy.

The study, which surveyed 2,200 mothers with young children in the U.S., U.K., Germany, France, Italy, Spain, Canada, Australia, New Zealand and Japan, asked them about their feelings about sharing pictures of their children online. American parents are more likely to share their baby pictures and information online than those from other countries, but 73 percent of parents in the U.K., Spain, France and Italy also said they would be willing to share images of their infants.

But this mom explained that she was not keen on the idea of her child's information being shared online. She wrote: "Am I being unreasonable to ask family not to post pictures online as I feel that if my child wants all those pictures publicly available, they can decide themselves when they are older?"

"I feel that privacy is very important," she said. "I don't like the idea that my baby's childhood will be all over social media."

Leah Plunkett, author of Sharenthood and faculty member at Harvard Law School told Newsweek: "Sharing pictures of your kids online compromises your children's privacy. In childhood, privacy means giving kids a protected space to play—to make mischief, make mistakes, learn from them, and grow up better for having made them. When pictures go up online, that protected space to play grows smaller or goes away."

Earlier this week 35-year-old Meredith Steele gained viral attention on TikTok when she warned parents against sharing pictures of their children after her own family was "digitally kidnapped."

Steele was shocked to discover that her children's pictures had been stolen and re-shared by a stranger in a bid to live out a fake life online, with new names and identities. The mom explained that she was horrified and told South West News Service: "It was like they were playing with Barbie dolls but the dolls were my kids."

'Parents Are Right To Be Worried About Pictures of Their Kids Online'

On Mumsnet, users were quick to side with the concerned mom and tell her that she was right to ask her family not to share pictures of her child.

One commenter said: "You are not being unreasonable, and in my opinion, you're making the best decision for your child," while another added, "I chose the same approach when I had my son three years ago and everyone has abided by it."

"My husband understands where I'm coming from but doesn't feel as strongly about it as I do," explained the original poster.

"Parents are right to be worried about pictures of their kids online because, once pictures are posted online, parents lose control of these pictures," warned Plunkett. "Even if pictures are posted to a social media account set to 'private,' privacy isn't guaranteed. Pictures may be re-shared and re-purposed, both now and in the future, both by individuals and by institutions."

"It's entirely reasonable to say you don't want pictures of your child on social media," said another commenter. "Some people do seem to live through their social media accounts so might need more reminding. Others will ignore you which means your only option would be to limit their contact with your child or physically stop them taking photos."

"We asked before our daughter was born for no pics on social media," said another reply. "I think they thought it was a bit odd and they were sad not to be able to share pics but they went with it."

When it comes to having the conversation about children's pictures on social media with your family, Plunkett had some advice.

"You can have a conversation with your family about posting pictures of your children online in the same tone and using similar language to what you would use to talk to your family about a child's food allergy or restriction," she said. "Inform them, gently and directly, that you appreciate that they want to connect with you and your child by taking and sharing pictures, and that, to keep your child safe, you're asking that they only share pictures with you directly by text or email, not by posting on social media."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.

Update 12/21/22, 11:38 a.m. ET: This article has been updated to say that Leah Plunkett is a faculty member at Harvard Law School.

If you have a similar family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.