Mom Praised for 'Refusing' to Feed Newborn to Sleep

A new mother was backed for refusing to feed her hungry newborn to catch up on sleep while her husband played Fortnite.

The woman, known as u/Cantsleepnewborn, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 11,000 upvotes and 2,300 comments. The post can be found here.

Newborns and Gender Roles

Within the first few weeks of life, exclusively breastfed newborns often feed every two to four hours, with some feeding every hour.

While many Americans believe that in a two-parent household both parents should split the caregiving responsibilities, about 45 percent of women ages 18 to 29 believe caregiving responsibilities mainly fall on women, according to Pew Research.

For women 65 and older, nearly 70 percent said responsibilities fall mainly on women.

As for babies, more than half of Americans say that mothers do a better job caring for a newborn than fathers while 45 percent say both do an equally good job.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for refusing to feed my baby and going to bed?" the 23-year-old woman said she is up from 1 a.m. to 11 p.m. with her newborn while her husband, 22, works.

"I maybe get a few hours naps throughout the day but it's barely anything," the post read. "My husband works 37 hours a week and when he gets home from work he expects me to care for her because he's had a hard day at work."

The other day, the woman took a nap while her husband got home from work and played Fortnite for about 20 minutes until he woke her up to tell her to feed their crying newborn.

"I simply picked her up handed her to my husband and told him no I am going to bed," the post read. "And well went to bed. My husband and his friends / family are calling me an a**hole because it's my job to care for the baby because I'm a stay at home mom. I'm just so tired :("

In an update, the woman said her husband fed the baby after she refused but that they did have a set feeding schedule and that he "refuses" to follow it.

"When I try to talk to him he says he's too tired from work and goes back to his game," the post read. "I would love to get family to help but they all agree with him."

In another update, the woman said her husband agreed to take the day off to "babysit" so she can catch up on sleep.

"I think I'm leaving him," the post read.

But in the most recent update, the woman said she got out of bed to find her husband "willingly" feeding their baby.

"Not changing my mind about any of this just didn't know he had it in him," the update read.

Redditor Reactions

More than 2,300 users commented on the post, many supporting the woman for having her husband feed their baby.

"NTA he's still a parent whether you stay home or not," one user said.

"Your husband needs to step up," another said. "I can't help but suspect that your relationship is unbalanced in other ways as well. NTA."

"I never understand why some people assume stay home parents mean on duty 24/7... it takes 2 to make a baby—and if In a relationship—2 to raise baby," another user said. "Yes, husband works, you should be on duty for his work hours—everything after that time should be split 50/50. NTA."

"If you're too tired for your child, you're too tired to game sir," another said.

"WTF. It's not 'babysitting' when it's your own child. It is called 'parenting,'" another said.

Newsweek reached out to u/Cantsleepnewborn for comment.

Parenting certainly presents an array of issues, but one that's most common is sleep deprivation. And sleep deprivation, according to Better Health, is a precursor to ailments ranging from grumpiness to heart disease and diabetes.

In another viral Reddit post, a woman was praised for leaving her partner when he chose to sleep rather than care for her children.

A father was bashed online after he went behind his wife's back and let his mom meet their newborn.

And Another man was slammed for making his wife sleep on the couch 11 weeks after giving birth to their baby.