Mom Urged To Dump Husband After Glamorous In-Laws Brand Her 'Ugly'

A woman who was left heartbroken after her in-laws called her ugly has taken to the internet to share her story.

On October 8, the Mumsnet user shared her story which has since received over 400 replies. User Zetty22 wrote: "I've been married for several years now with two children, we get on fairly well and have a good home routine. My in-laws have never accepted me from day one, I have always been polite and friendly towards them, but they've always pushed me away."

Founder and director of Black Female Therapist Dr. Jenine Lowery told Newsweek: "The impact that not being accepted by in-laws has on individuals has a significant effect on people. When someone has been rejected by their in-laws, it can be tough to move on and be happy. Rejection can lead to feelings of isolation and depression."

The mom explained how she has four sisters-in-law and has tried to befriend them over the years with little success. "I'm always left out of family gatherings and made to feel like an outsider," she explained. "When I've tried raising the subject with my mother-in-law she makes me feel like it's all in my head, then I think I might be going crazy."

Recently things came to a head when the family was playing an online game with the children. As the woman tried to join in and make the effort, the family made a player avatar of her look "horrendous," she explained: "Horrible jaw, bulging eyes, and crazy hair, they laughed and said ugly like you. I just smiled as I didn't want my children to see me upset, and I changed the subject so my children were distracted."

Crying on the way home, the woman's husband was not supportive either. "He said his sisters would never do that, he thinks his lovely sisters can never do any wrong. He called me a crybaby and [told me] to grow up which made me feel even worse. I'm wondering is it because I'm ugly they don't like me? They must call me ugly all the time," she wrote.

"My heart goes out to Zetty22. It's never easy when you have horrible in-laws, especially when they are disrespectful in front of your children and your husband doesn't support you when they insult you," said Lowery. "It sounds as if her husband is not supportive of her thoughts and feelings centered around the impact his family has on her, and a good couples therapist could help him better understand her needs and wants. The therapist could also help the couple better understand his perspective on the matter."

Lowery suggested a licensed family therapist would be best placed to help in a situation like this—but also said that individual therapy for the Mumsnet user could be helpful: "She can do so much work to build a more loving relationship with herself and a deeper bond with her children because, unfortunately, she can't control what her sisters-in-law do or what her mother-in-law says. However, she can always control how she chooses to respond."

Further explaining the situation, the mom continued on the post and wrote: "I'm quite plain in how I dress and look. I'm low on money so I don't have the resources to look all dressed up. My husband has never supported me, and I think if it weren't for kids, I'd have left him by now. Also, he's a good dad and we do get on at home, it's just his family issue that makes me want to run away. Especially as on Christmas he says it's about family and he takes the kids over there. I'm not invited, and I stay home alone."

In a series of comments, Mumsnet users reached out to the mom to offer support.

"That made me feel really sad," said one reply. "Absolutely no way should you be spending Christmas alone. You need to be brave and stand up to your husband."

"The whole family, including your husband, sound like bullies," said another.

"Even if she doesn't go to therapy, she can develop a plan of action to deal with her husband and his family," explained Lowery. "It's difficult to say what would work best for her and her children without more information. I see people in the comments of this post saying she should leave him because the children are learning bad behaviors—this may be true."

Lowery also suggested a system to help the woman overcome the insults. "Every time his family does or says something unpleasant, she has to combat that by telling herself beautiful things about herself. If they call her ugly, she has to say to herself: I'm a loving, beautiful mom here with these awful people because I'm supporting my children. I have enough love for myself that it doesn't matter how anyone in this world feels. I am perfectly and wonderfully made, just the way I am. I love my curly hair, sexy eyes, gorgeous smile, and this body that gave me two beautiful children," Lowery said.

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.