Wife Backed as Husband's Ex Demands More Money After Her Partner Quits Job

A high-earning stepmom has been backed online for opting not to pay for her husband's children.

In a post shared to popular U.K.-based discussion site Mumsnet, user Dontwanttopay explained that her stepson's mom has asked for more child maintenance as her partner has quit his teaching job.

Their father's salary covers 35 percent of their overheads, whereas the original poster's cover 65 percent plus extra things like "going out, entertainment and random child expenses such as school uniform."

She wrote: "I'm 100 percent against it. When I was made redundant and we lost my income we never asked for any reduction (considering I'm the higher earner) and they could claim universal credits. Something she'd never let us do when it could have been handy to have the extra money and maybe at that stage we would have gotten more than them.

"Any money comes from my income, something I don't have to fork out for their life decisions, and if my husband doesn't want to fight with her, he's welcome to get a second job."

Erin Rayburn, a marriage and family therapist in Chattanooga, Tennessee, told Newsweek: "Well, the divorce agreement decides how much the father has to contribute to support his child. At the end of the day, though, a father is also responsible for taking care of his child. It's also the father's responsibility to manage the relationship with the ex-partner and determine if such new requests are valid."

"What's between him and his ex-wife and their kid, is between them. However, he is remarried and he should consider how that impacts his current home life. However, part of marriage and remarriage is understanding the dynamics of a blended family. In stepfamilies, couples with blended families should expect that their partner may need to use resources they bring to the family to support their biological children."

"If the husband wants to use his relationship resources to pay more money to provide for his kid then he needs to understand the consequences he may face in his current relationship. There is also a level of responsibility on the other party, the ex-wife, to figure out how to support her child with her new husband. This situation is very tricky as we only have one side of the story, it really doesn't matter if exes are involved or not."

What Do the Comments Say?

In the comments, the step-mom mentions there are two children involved and their mom is a teaching assistant. She also points out her husband works in manual labor, but she doesn't say what she does for a living.

Hundreds of people have commented and it seems they agree with the expert.

One user said: "The calculation is on the low side, really it's the bare minimum. But the only people paying for the child should be their parents, your income is immaterial although I get that you wouldn't reduce your standard of living if he paid more therefore it's really your wage making up the shortfall."

"You aren't being unreasonable but if I was the dad I'd consider the amount I was paying and see what I could do to earn more and pay more if it seemed too little."

Another said: "Hell to the NO from me! You are absolutely NOT being Unreasonable. In a nutshell, she's saying...'My partner doesn't feel like working anymore but that's ok you can just give us more money, can't you? Great, thanks."

"Sounds like your husband and his ex are on to a pretty good thing here. She's expecting her new partner to support her kids and he's expecting you to support his kids. And in my opinion, it's kind of a given that if you live in a household with other people the kids are in part going to be supported by the income of the incoming partner, in no way should that partner be the one responsible for supporting the kids, on either side.

"If your partner and his ex are unable to support their joint children then they ought to go out and get better-paid jobs. Maybe the ex's partner is sick of supporting her and her kids as well," said another.

Newsweek wasn't able to verify the details of the case.