Fury as Woman Travels Overseas for Birthday Party but Is Then 'Disinvited'

A woman has vented her frustration at being "disinvited" from a birthday party she traveled overseas to attend.

The exiled guest took to Mumsnet to express her shock at this development, with comments quickly flooding in from fellow forum users similarly critical of the birthday girl's actions.

When it comes to parties, disinviting a guest isn't just a difficult predicament, etiquette experts say it's something best avoided altogether.

Diane Gottsman, national etiquette expert from The Protocol School of Texas, told Newsweek: "Once an invitation has been sent, it's extremely awkward to retract."

Gottsman warned that it's important to consider the potential fallout from disinviting a guest, particularly if it is the result of a "petty feud."

"Think about how it will affect family, fellow guests, and long-term repercussions of your relationship once you uninvite this person," she said."

But while it's awkward enough to disinvite someone from a normal birthday party, it's a whole other level of difficult to do so when that someone has joined you for a special trip abroad to mark the occasion.

Yet, according to the Mumsnet post, that's exactly the scenario that has played out during a group trip away to mark one woman's birthday.

According to the post, which was written by one of the disinvited women under the name NotWelcomeAt Parties, the issue began when, upon arriving later than the rest of the group, she discovered the only bed still available as a pullout couch in the living room.

"I was unhappy about this," she admitted. "I'm a light sleeper, teetotal right now and generally go to bed early. Being forced to stay up until nine other people (who drink) are ready to sleep is my idea of abject misery."

As a result, her and another friend decided to move into rooms at a hotel nearby so they could have their own space. However, when they met up with the rest of the group later on, the birthday girl was evidently "upset" with them.

The next morning, on the day of the host's birthday, she then sent them a text saying she "would rather we didn't join them" and they "should feel free to move on" if they wanted to.

"It just seems so mean to disinvite us from the party," the ousted guest wrote. "We chipped in together so we could get her a really good gift, and now we can't even give it to her."

Though the birthday girl has told her she would like to talk more about what happened when they get back home, the woman has been left wondering why she should bother given the wasted time and expense of the trip.

That response chimed with the vast majority of people on social media, who were equally scathing of the host's actions.

1FootInTheRave felt the whole situation was "stupid," with NameChangeLifeChange urging her to "return the gift and have a nice holiday" away from her.

Iamnotalemming felt the birthday girl came off as "entitled" and "selfish" while HomewardBound2022 said: "She is no friend of yours."

"It's a nasty and spiteful thing to uninvite you to the event when you've made the effort and sucked up the cost of the trip," campervangirl added. "I'd be furious."

In the event that you should choose to disinvite someone over a recent dispute, Gottsman told Newsweek it's important to choose your words carefully.

She said: "If there has been a relationship falling out or you are certain they will be toxic to the celebration you can say 'I have had to make a difficult decision and I need to retract my invitation I am making this decision in the best interest of my family (or whatever reason you have decided to uninvite them). Thank you for understanding.'"