Pregnant Woman Blocking Her Parents From Moving in Praised

A woman planning on putting her parents in a nursing home is being cheered online.

Sharing her story with Reddit's AITA forum on October 6, user u/Perfect-Orchid7421 wrote that her parents had never supported her growing up.

Explaining that her family is originally from South Asia, but now lives in the U.S., the poster wrote that her traditional parents lavished attention on her older brother, but only "tolerated" her. They refused to pay for her education, expecting her to "stay home and take care of them."

Now, her older brother has five children and does not have the time or money to care for their mom and dad. The parents recently sold their home, planning to move in with Perfect-Orchid7421 and her husband, and were shocked when she said no.

Despite writing them a check "for one year's worth of rent, foods, utilities and sundries," Perfect-Orchid7421's family have been harassing her, causing her to doubt her decision.

'Weigh up What Your Values Are'

Simone Bose—a relationship therapist based in London—told Newsweek that it can be challenging for second- or third-generation children to balance familial expectations with their life outside of the home.

"Your parents are the victims of this, too, and most likely there has been a threat of shame if they didn't follow these values and beliefs at certain points in their lives," Bose said.

But just because parents adhere to certain cultural norms doesn't mean that their children have to.

"They may have good intentions, but it does not mean it's acceptable for you and the path you want to go down," Bose added.

"You need to weigh up what your values are. You are different from your parents. Your upbringing has made you look at things with a different perspective.

"Think about who you are, and what type of family and person you want to be. What fits into your life from your culture and what doesn't?" Bose said.

'DNA Doesn't Entitle Anyone to Anything'

In her post, Perfect-Orchid7421 wrote that her parents paid for her brother's education, while the poster worked to fund her degree with the help of scholarships.

"They expected me to just stay home and take care of them and my brother," she wrote. "That wasn't for me. I got a partial scholarship to a state school."

Along with a career she enjoys, Perfect-Orchid7421 is now happily married and expecting her first child. Her brother is also married and has a successful career, as well as being a father of five.

"He does very well for himself, but he has chosen to have five children," the poster said.

"They all go to private school and have all kinds of extra curricular activities. And his wife is a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) even though they have a nanny.

"I know five young children would be difficult to manage. She has a degree as well but they have chosen to be a one income household."

Intending to move in with Perfect-Orchid7421 and her husband, her parents put their house on the market.

"I told my husband that I did not want them living with us and he concurred," the Redditor wrote.

"They said that they already listed their home and that a dutiful daughter would take care of her parents in their old age.

"I said that if they gave me all the money from the sale of their home I would find them a nice retirement home where they could live and that I would pay the bills until they passed away."

However, her parents did not like this suggestion, calling her "ungrateful." In response, Perfect-Orchid7421 told her parents not to contact her again. Since the fallout, her family members both in the U.S. and overseas have been criticizing her.

"My brother contacted me and said that I was making the family look bad by not taking them in," the poster wrote.

"So I gave him the choice of either taking them in himself or never bringing it up to me again or I would be going [no contact] with him as well."

Redditors praised Perfect-Orchid7421 for standing up for herself and setting boundaries with her parents and brother. Since being posted, her story has received almost 15,000 upvotes and 1,400 comments.

"DNA doesn't entitle anyone to anything you don't want to give," wrote CatastrophicHeadache. Bubbly-Wallaby-2777 agreed, commenting: "Op (original poster) is a flipping rock star. Tell them you reap what you sow. They paid for bare minimum and are not owed anything."

User nololthx said: "As someone who grew up with parents who tried to impose the whole filial piety thing on me, I am so proud of you for getting out, doing you, and setting boundaries.

"I had a tougher time with it, so it's inspiring to hear about someone else doing it."

Newsweek has reached out to Perfect-Orchid7421 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.