Woman Who 'Ruined' Husband's Birthday After He Laughed at Dress Applauded

A woman has been backed for leaving her husband's party after he laughed at her wearing an old dress after gaining weight, and subsequently "ruining" the birthday bash for him.

In a viral post, u/MandyTate35246, has received 14,800 upvotes since sharing her story on November 8.

The 32-year-old woman explained she has gained weight due to an unspecified medical condition and can no longer fit into her old clothes.

Newsweek spoke to a relationship coach who said: "Any mocking behavior from your partner should not be accepted."

The original poster (OP) explained she bought "new fitting clothes" for her husband's birthday party but he asked her to wear an old garment that is one of his favorites.

She wrote: "To appease him I said yes although I didn't feel comfortable wearing it, especially after the weight gain."

The woman stated she arrived later at a restaurant where her husband and his loved ones were already.

She said: "As soon as he saw me walking in, he busted out laughing. He pointed at the dress and was going hysterical saying "oh my God." I felt so incredibly mad.

"Especially when the others started laughing as well. One of his friends started whistling in a mocking tone. I turned around instantly and walked out and my sister followed me. I went home and cried a little but he kept calling nonstop." He then claimed the party had been ruined by her behavior.

The OP concluded the post by stating her husband called her "oversensitive" and stated he was "caught off guard." He then advised her to seek therapy. She has taken to the internet to ask other users if she has overreacted.

Relationship coach and former divorce lawyer Alex Limanowka spoke to Newsweek about the post.

She said: "The need to be loved and supported by our partners can be a primary reason why many people get into relationships. Healthy relationship gives us a sense of safety and unconditional acceptance. We want to be loved 'for better, for worse,' for as we are, and not just because of how we look. As we get older, our body might change, for example with age, pregnancy, or perhaps medical issues.

"Weight gain can be one of those situations. We should support ourselves during this process. Instead of complaining about how we look, we should look at ourselves more positively, and try to accept changes we experience.

"There is nothing more important than open communication. Make sure your partner knows how you feel about your body, and talk about the reasons why it may have changed, and raise any ideas you have on how they could support you through this change.

"For some, they may only need to hear that 'You are beautiful as you are,' while others may like their partner to help them make a change, by asking them to join in with a healthy diet at home, or a more active lifestyle.

"People tend to overthink how others may perceive them, ask your partner how they feel about the changes to your appearance that you are experiencing. I will often invite my clients to exchange their opinions on each other. You might think that putting on a few pounds would make a drastic difference in the way your partner may think of you. While they may not even notice and will respond with the traits they admire about you, perhaps about your eyes or how quick witted you are.

"Any mocking behavior from your partner should not be accepted. Making fun of your partner can upset and frustrate them. If you experience this, even if in a lighthearted jokey way, you should speak up.

"Communicate out loud how you feel, and set your expectations in terms of the kind of support that you're expecting. There's a chance your partner is not aware of how problematic this change is for you. On the other hand, if someone deliberately makes you feel worse, it could be considered a form of abuse."

Abuse doesn't always mean physical, as there are many forms of emotional abuse.

Here are a few examples published on Doorsways, a Texas-based charity that creates pathways out of homelessness, domestic violence, and sexual assault:

• Ignoring a partner's feelings
• Ridiculing or insulting women as a group
• Ridiculing or insulting valued beliefs, religion, race, heritage, or class
• Withholding approval, appreciation, or affection as punishment
• Continually criticizing, calling names, or shouting at partners

Over 1,500 people have commented on the post, the top comment alone has received more than 42,000 upvotes.

It said: "He pushed you to wear the dress even though you didn't want to. He made fun of you when you wore said dress. He stood by as you were publicly humiliated. He didn't follow you when you walked out and belittled your feelings. He told you to go to therapy: not so that you're happier but so you can stop annoying him. He tears you down physically and emotionally. He denies any wrongdoing and blames only you. Why are you with him?"

Another user said: "Agreed. I also can't help but wonder if this was planned, and maybe he knew she would be embarrassed like this in the dress he picked out and did it on purpose to shame her into "losing weight faster" post her medical treatment."

Anyone seeking help can contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline by dialing 1-800-799-7233 or TTY 1-800-787-3224, or texting "START" to 88788. The service is confidential, free, and available 24/7. The Hotline also provides information on local resources. For more information visit https://www.thehotline.org/

Newsweek reached out to u/MandyTate35246 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.