Woman Backed for Banning Mom From Disability Group: 'Our Safe Space'

A woman has been backed for excluding the mother of a disabled child from a local parenting group.

In a post on Reddit's popular r/AmITheA****** (AITA) forum, user u/DisabledMom2 shared the story that has received thousands of upvotes and comments.

"I am in a group for disabled parents. The group is not for the parents of disabled children. It is for parents who have disabilities. While many of our members have a child or children with disabilities, that is not why they are in the group," the original poster wrote.

"The purpose of the group is to have a support network of other parents with disabilities free of the stigma and condensation disabled people with children so often face," she said.

Tanja Hester, a disabled activist and best-selling author, told Newsweek: "People with disabilities—whether they are adults or children—face enormous challenges, even in countries where disability accommodations are written into law. There are numerous additional costs that able-bodied people usually aren't aware of, and just added mental burdens."

The Redditor explained that a woman recently messaged the support group about joining and they gladly gave her the information about their next meeting. But when she arrived with her son in a wheelchair, the mom sat on her phone for most of the meetup and did not participate in the conversation.

"During one of our attempts to include her in the conversation, she did mention that she is not disabled in any way," she wrote. "I mentioned that this group is for disabled parents and she responded that her son is disabled. That's not really relevant."

At the end of the meetup, the group told the woman she could not attend again.

"We told her she couldn't be a member of the group, because it is a support group for parents with disabilities, and she isn't disabled. She was very offended and kept talking about her son," said the poster.

Another member of the group tried to explain again that this was not a group for disabled children.

"This group is our safe space and she is intruding on it," said the Redditor. "She told us we are hypocritical c-words for excluding her son and left very upset. Were we unfair?"

"Parents of disabled children (often mislabeled 'special needs' children, a term discouraged by disability rights organizations), have their own challenges, which vary based on the extent of their child's disability, how many kids they are caring for, their household income, etc.," said Hester, but she agreed that the group in question was not the right place for this parent.

"To use a crude analogy, if you are mourning the death of a loved one, you join a support group for other people mourning their own losses, not a support group for people dealing with cancer, or addiction," she said. "Everyone needs support, but the support offered in those groups is different because the experiences are different."

Online, Reddit users also agreed that the group was not in the wrong to refuse the woman.

"She literally doesn't fit the group's purpose," one person commented. "Y'all shouldn't feel bad for that."

"It's called selective listening. Narcissists are fantastic at this," another Redditor said.

Newsweek reached out to u/DisabledMom2 for comment. We were unable to verify the details of this case.