Woman Slammed for Refusing to 'Coddle' Her 'Struggling' Single-Mom Sister

Commenters slammed a woman for telling her sister she could not bring her 7-month-old daughter to her child-free party even though her boyfriend's kids would be in attendance.

The Original Poster (OP), known as u/throwawayaccount5805, posted about the incident in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 6,600 upvotes and 3,500 comments. The post can be found here.

Child-Free Events

With an estimated one in five Americans saying they don't want kids, many individuals are opting for child-free events and even child-free weddings.

One study from the United States Census Bureau found that Americans are choosing to live childfree with many saying children would infringe on their freedom and take up their time and energy.

But the rising popularity of such events has split opinions online about whether it is fair to expect guests to find childcare to attend an event or party.

Others think child-free parties allow guests to enjoy the event without being concerned about what the younger guests are up to. Some even say it ensures events will be less hectic since there will be fewer scurrying toddlers and crying children.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for telling my sister she can't bring her baby to my party, and saying that we shouldn't be coddling her all the time?" the 28-year-old woman said she and her 40-year-old boyfriend Matt just moved into a new home.

"We've been planning to throw a housewarming party for friends and family, but we've decided to not have kids under a certain age (say 5 or 6)," the post read. "I just think it's just going to be a hassle with young kids screaming and running around, especially in our new house."

While the OP said most of the guests either have no children older than 6, her 31-year-old sister Emma has a 7-month-old daughter.

"She's a single mom and she is struggling a bit now with everything," the post read. "This is something I told her to think clearly about and make a rational decision while she was pregnant."

Emma was invited but later called the OP to ask if she could bring her daughter. The OP said she told her sister no because there would not be any young kids at the party.

When Emma asked why Matt's children were allowed, the OP said it is because his kids are older—6 and 8 years old.

In an update, the OP also said that Matt's kids would be in attendance regardless if it was a child-free party or not because it is their dad's house.

"Emma eventually said that she wouldn't be able to attend, which I understand, but she did sound kind of p**sed about it," the post read.

'They're Overreacting'

Recently, the OP and Emma had lunch with their mom when the party was brought up. Their mom told the OP she was "awful" for excluding Emma.

"I said that we're not excluding her, it's anyone that has young kids," the post read. "But mom said that I'm 'unsupportive' and should be understanding towards her. I got kind of mad, so I replied that's the rules and Emma brought this on herself, and we shouldn't be coddling her all the time."

Emma heard the conversation and "looked hurt" but left a little after the OP said sorry she was upset.

"Mom went off at me, saying 'I've done it now and a bunch of other stuff,'" the post read. "Again, I did apologize to Emma. I told Matt everything and he agrees that they're overreacting, but clearly Emma was upset (and mom), so AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

Thousands of users commented on the post, many criticizing the OP for not allowing her sister's infant at the party but letting her boyfriend bring his children.

"YTA, because I don't understand your logic," one user commented receiving over 17,000 upvotes. "You don't want screaming running kids but then invite a 6 year and an 8 year. Last time I checked those are the ages they scream and run the loudest"

"I think it's fine to have parties that don't allow kids to come, but those comments make it clear you were against Emma having this kid," another user commented. "That history makes it feel like the no young kids rule is specifically targeted at Emma, which would make YTA."

"YTA: 6 and 8 are not older, they are literally the exact age you're talking about 'screaming and running around,'" another commented. "A 7-month-old can't even walk. QUESTION: how many other kids are being excluded because from your description it sounds like just your sister[?]"

"You made it clear in this post that your issue is her having a baby at all and her struggling is some sort of character defect when in reality a lot of women (with or without partners) struggle in the first year of motherhood," another commented. "It's not coddling to have some compassion."

"I love the extra topping of smug judgment, 'I told her to think clearly about and make a rational decision while she was pregnant. So anyway...,'" another commented. "So really, it's not about your party, it's about her making a choice you feel the right to be morally superior to. That makes YTA."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwawayaccount5805 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral Reddit post, a mom was criticized for bringing her baby to a child-free wedding while another woman on Mumsnet was backed for not attending her brother's child-free wedding after she could not find a babysitter.

One man was criticized for banning his fiancée's daughters from their wedding.