Woman Slammed for Tricking Friend Into Wearing 'Horrible' Outfit

A "jealous" woman who tricked her friend into dressing inappropriately for a night on the town is being blasted online.

In a post to Mumsnet's Am I Being Unreasonable? (AIBU) forum on October 26, user bradleyboo said she and her friend had planned to meet for "a few drinks" the previous weekend. They'd agreed on casual outfits, but when she arrived, her friend was all glammed-up, leaving the poster feeling "horrible all night."

Expressing her upset at the situation, bradleyboo was inundated with support from fellow users, many accusing the friend of deliberately misleading the poster out of jealousy.

'Jealousy Can Be Reframed'

A 2018 study explored jealousy, competition and "schadenfreude" (happiness derived from another person's adversity) in female friendships.

Published in the journal Mental and Physical Health, researchers surveyed 133 women about their friendships with other women. The online questionnaire evaluated participants' personality traits, as well as their likelihood of deriving joy from their friends' failures in three areas of life—academics, relationships and appearance.

They found that respondents demonstrating higher levels of Machiavellianism (cold and manipulative behavior) were more likely to revel in their friend's misery if the "failure" was related to romantic relationships or appearance.

Nevertheless, participants didn't need "Dark Triad" personality traits to experience schadenfreude. Those who reported feeling envious of their friends were the most likely to find joy in their pal's academic failures, as well as their relationship misfortunes. However, competitive respondents were always happy when their friends failed, no matter which area of life they experienced a setback.

Sam Zand, chief medical officer of Better U and the CEO of the Anywhere Clinic, said that feeling envious from time to time is natural, but reframing your mindset can help you to keep things under control.

"The core component of jealousy is an external projection of something we lack," he told Newsweek.

"If we reframe our mindset towards gratitude for what we have and lean into our strengths, then any feeling of jealousy can be reframed to admiration and praise.

"Instead of feeling out of place or seeing the world as having things we don't, we can feel comfortable with ourselves and use others as inspiration."

He said feeling like a friend is purposefully "outshining" you can lead to resentment, but communicating can help you to resolve the issue.

"Rather than making assumptions about our friend's intent, we can steer future situations in a positive and fun direction," he said.

If you share your concerns and your friend still tries to make you jealous, Zand said you might need to readdress the relationship.

"Showing vulnerability in a friendship usually leads to a deeper bond," he said.

"If the friend is not sensitive to our feelings after communicating them, then we learned something about the quality of this friendship."

'It Sounds Like a Jealousy Stunt'

In her post, bradleyboo explained that her friend had called ahead of time to ask about outfits.

"The plan was to go into town for a few drinks," she wrote.

"She rang me and said 'it's just casual, I'm gonna wear my big coat and boots.'"

As a result, the poster decided to "dress down." However, when she arrived at her friend's house, she found her pal dressed to the nines.

"Skirt and bodysuit, heeled boots and no coat," the poster wrote. "So I look like a scruff.

"I said 'I thought it was casual.' She said 'I changed my mind, dont be silly tho you look fine.'"

Unfortunately, the poster felt "horrible all night," and after her friend took her to more extravagant venues than promised, her mood only worsened.

"She did it on purpose," commented user Angelofthenortheast.

"It sounds like a jealousy stunt," agreed SummerWhisper. "Does she often undermine you?"

"She set you up," said Unseelie. "What, she changed her mind about the evening that dramatically, after specifically saying to dress down, and didn't have a second to text you?"

While DucklingDaisy suggested: "You're probably naturally more attractive and she didn't want you to get more male attention."

Some users shared their own stories in solidarity, with Allthingsbrightandbeautifulx writing: "Movie and girly night at hers, said to come wearing pjs and bring any nail varnish I had and snacks. I pick up face mask friend on the way - she's also in pjs.

"We get there and movie friend answers the door wearing jeans and nice top. I say oh have you only just got in? Thinking she needed to change she said no, we're all in here. We walk in and sat there is her husband, 3 of his friends and their GF's who we've only ever met at their wedding. And she says, oh don't mind them 2 they think they live here."

Courgettigreensadwater shared: "I had this before. It was a get together though, drinks, nibbles, group of friends.

"I asked what the dress code is and friend said 'oh I've just got leggings and a jumper on.' Got there and she had faux leather leggings on and a slinky off the shoulder jumper on. I did call her out."