Woman Who Suffered Two Miscarriages Slammed for Excessive Rules on Babies

The internet has slammed a woman who suffered two miscarriages for her excessive rules on children and babies.

Published on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/openheartclosed shared her story to receive feedback from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 9,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.

The original poster, otherwise known as OP, began their story by explaining that their sister, "Julie," had two miscarriages in the past five years of trying for a baby.

"My heart hurts for her. However, one thing I don't agree with is how my family has handled it. We're not allowed to talk about babies around Julie. Any kids younger than 3 can't come to family events that she'll attend. She won't attend baby showers, baptisms, etc. The last one I understand, but the rest feels overkill," OP explained.

OP wrote that she got pregnant last year and she told her sister the announcement first. In response, Julie "reiterated" her boundaries. OP explained that her mother-in-law was throwing her a baby shower, however, her mother said that she shouldn't have one "out of respect" for her sister. She didn't expect her sister to come anyways, but at the party, only three of her family members attended the shower.

When she gave birth to her son, OP posted an announcement on Facebook. Her parents "lectured" her on how she was going to "hurt" Julie with her post. OP argued that Julie could block or mute her so she didn't see any of her posts. To avoid drama, OP blocked her sister.

OP explained where the conflict began: "My aunt's 70th birthday party is next week. My husband and I planned to go, bringing our son. Julie called and asked if we were going. She then asked for me to get a sitter for our son. I said no. She doesn't want to miss the party. My aunt is one of the few people who agree that Julie's boundaries aren't fair and wants my son there, as she doesn't get to see him often. Julie got upset and started crying, saying that I was unfair."

"I finally snapped and asked what would happen when she got pregnant? Would we all be expected to shower her with the love and attention she's refused to give other people's kids? Will her baby be allowed to attend events? She said that was different. I said no, I'm not coddling her anymore. My son exists, he's family and he's coming. She can decide if she wants to or not. My parents yelled at me for being mean to Julie. They offered to pay for a sitter but I said no. It's not even her house," OP concluded.

Newsweek reached out to u/openheartclosed for comment.

Newsweek has published several articles similar to this one, including a boyfriend who was praised for being relieved by a miscarriage, a man was backed for kicking his sister out after her baby loss after she "berated" his pregnant wife and a man was criticized after faking his wife's miscarriage to stop her from working.

What is a miscarriage?

A miscarriage is when an embryo or fetus dies before the 20th week of pregnancy, according to Planned Parenthood. Miscarriages typically happen early in one's pregnancy, as eight out of 10 of them happen within the first three months.

Signs that a person is having a miscarriage include vaginal spotting or bleeding, pain or cramping in the abdomen or lower back and fluid or tissue passing from the female reproductive system, according to Mayo Clinic.

What are the causes of one suffering from a miscarriage? Infection, hormonal imbalances, the age of the pregnant person, severe kidney disease, thyroid disease, radiation and severe malnutrition are just some of the factors that could cause a miscarriage, according to Cleveland Clinic.

Redditor reactions

"[Not the a**hole] Your sister is taking this way too far. Your point about her (possible) child is totally valid," u/C_Majuscula wrote, receiving the top comment of over 11,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a**hole] Good lord. Wow. She's trying to cut off all family event related contact for your side of the family? She needs therapy badly. That's just so unfair to you and your child and the other relatives who do want to see the baby. Tell your parents that if they want to see their grandson they need to start treating him like a human being and part of the family, not a weapon pointed at your sister," u/k1p1coder urged the OP.

U/ginliv said, "[Not the a**hole]. Julie can't expect everybody to hide away their children or pretend they don't exist just because of her (very real) pain. Is Julie not going to have a relationship with her nephew? It sounds as though she hasn't really grieved for what she has lost or for her (apparent) infertility and is allowing that to overtake all of her other relationships."

"Trauma is not an excuse for the whole world to accomodate a person forever. It sucks what happened to her but part of learning to deal with trauma is managing triggers. [Not the a**hole]," u/mdthomas commented.