Debate as Husband Demands to Invite Best Friend's Widow to Christmas Dinner

The Christmas holiday season is coming up, and so is all the drama that goes with it. A woman has sparked a debate after refusing to invite a widow to her family's Christmas celebrations because it would make her uncomfortable.

In a post shared on Reddit last Saturday under the username u/Same-Dot4246, she explained that since her husband's best friend died, he's been around at the widow's place every single weekend, helping her around, and although it didn't bother her much, it didn't exactly thrill her either.

Now her husband wants to invite the widow over for Christmas, as he says she needs the "family atmosphere the most." But the poster is refusing to let her come, saying her family will be there and her presence will make people feel uncomfortable.

Christmas is still an important holiday for Americans. A new survey by Statista found that over 85 percent of people will celebrate Christmas in the United States this year.

After the wife's refusal, the husband kept arguing and then he eventually started sulking about it, saying that she was being "cruel for no reason" and that he wasn't asking for much "just an extra chair/plate for her," but she won't relent.

Soula Hareas, a licensed mental health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness, told Newsweek that there is something deeper to this story, and this wife didn't just "become Ebenezer Scrooge to this widow and her grief overnight."

She said: "Losing your spouse is always hard and the holidays make it so much worse. Her husband has been very kind and thoughtful and most people do invite others over who have no place to go such as college students living far from home or widows/widowers. This is not an uncommon thing.

The wife is having feelings of insecurity over this and in my opinion, the husband could have prevented this holiday problem. If he is truly genuine in wanting to help this woman why didn't he involve his wife as well? After all, she is a woman and could have connected with this widower as well and helped her with her grief too."

According to Hareas, this would have taken away that insecurity the wife is feeling, if the help was given jointly by the couple, and then she herself may have felt the urge to invite the widow over for the holidays, but instead, he went about it in a way that lends to suspicion.

'Underlying Issue'

"The husband may have loved his best friend but he can't replace him. As difficult as it is to grieve a spouse, the husband should have communicated with his wife about expectations and boundaries regarding helping the widow. Most people would not hesitate to invite her over and one extra seat at the table, when she is going through this intense grief, it isn't an inconvenience especially during the holidays when people are going around doing more for others in the spirit of Christmas.

"The wife seems to have some underlying issue whether it's trusting her husband or a controlling side to her, the insecurity the wife has, or maybe it's something about this woman or her behavior that unnerves her or her husband's behavior regarding this woman that makes her uneasy. Contrary to how women can sometimes be portrayed on TV- most women would be empathetic and overly generous at this time of the year welcoming her into their home."

The story has since gone viral, receiving over 12,600 upvotes and 4,600 comments so far. One user, TacklePractical45 commented: "INFO: Have you clearly communicated to your husband how much you deeply resent him spending time with this woman? Because that seems to be the larger issue here to me."

And Active_Berry said: "I really don't think spending a few weekends with someone who just lost their husband is, like, an excessive thing. My wife basically moved in with her best friend for a week after she got divorced, and I'm glad she did, because having friends and being there for them is good and normal and to be celebrated. And remember, husband is grieving too."

Decent_Ad6389 added: "There are two issues here. How much of a priority is your husband making this person? Is he still tending to his own marriage? Would you invite any other friend without a place to go for dinner? The second I can't see the harm in. You're having people over, so one extra isn't a huge deal. BUT. Refer to question one. Is your husband going to treat her as a normal guest, or is he going to spend the entire dinner catering to her? This deserves a heartfelt and honest discussion between you two. No judgment."

Another user, CermaitLaphroaig, wrote: "[You're The A******] Mainly because you're directing your feelings about this onto the invite instead of the truth: you don't like how much he's helping her/how close he is with her. That's the real issue here, not the invite, so address it directly. If you think something shady is going on, not inviting her to Christmas doesn't fix anything."

Newsweek reached out to u/Same-Dot4246 for comment. We couldn't verify the details of the case.