Teen Backed for Calling Stepmom 'Delusional' for Attempting to Adopt Him

A teenager was applauded online after telling his stepmom she was "delusional" for wanting to adopt him when he refused several times prior.

The original poster (OP), who goes by u/LostConstruction492, posted about the situation in Reddit's popular "Am I The A**hole" forum where it received more than 17,000 upvotes and 3,000 comments. The post can be found here.

Stepparent Adoption

Figures estimate that approximately 40 percent of adoptions each year in the United States are stepparent adoptions.

"It's a beautiful thing for a stepparent to adopt a stepchild if a bunch of things line up," licensed family therapist Trevor Crow told Newsweek.

It is important to consider the other parent's involvement, whether they cannot be involved, are being pushed out of a relationship, or—in this case—are deceased.

"Stepparents can step in and help out. But what we don't want to do is erase the parent or take away another parent's desire to bond with their child," Crow said. "If a parent is deceased and the child wants to do that, that's wonderful."

But as Crow explained, stepparents have to be sensitive to the child's needs and provide a nurturing relationship.

"It's a very balanced and nuanced process and it comes down to that emotional bond and being respectful and honoring everybody," Crow said.

'AITA?'

In the post titled "AITA for calling my stepmother delusional for thinking I would change my mind on her adopting me?" the teen said his mom died when he was 6-years-old and that his father married a woman named Ana the following year.

"Ana brought up the idea of adopting me the day of the wedding," the post read. "It was something my dad was all for but I went nuts when she mentioned it to me and I kinda spoiled the rest of the wedding."

The OP said he was in "intense" therapy for the next year and was told by the therapist that he "needed a mom" and it was not a betrayal to his mother to accept another person into his life.

"The therapist put the recommendation into the court to approve it, but when the judge spoke to me, I told him that I would run away, and that I would do everything to never come back," the post read. "I was 8 at the time and meant business. He asked me why I didn't want to be adopted. He listened."

'Intrusive Family Member'

The judge denied the adoption request and said that there would be no adoption until the OP was "on board."

"They did try again, requesting a different judge, but received the same response," the post read.

The OP said he was constantly asked to change his mind and that Ana would try to "fill the place of a mom." He said she took his rejection as a "challenge" to be "better."

"I never appreciated it because instead of just being Ana, and instead of my dad telling her to just be Ana, she saw mom as the only thing she wanted," the post read. "Even when she had kids of her own, I was their oldest son, I was her son, her boy, she'd call herself a boy mom, etc."

But the OP never referred to Ana as mom and said he doesn't love her because he sees her as an "intrusive family member."

When the OP turned 18 a few months ago, he moved out and lived with his maternal grandparents before moving in with his maternal uncle.

"My paternal grandparents celebrated their wedding anniversary this past weekend and I was there," the post read. "While there Ana approached me and handed me papers for an adult adoption."

Ana told the OP that she wanted him to know "it was not too late" for her to adopt him and that she wanted to make their relationship "official."

"I asked her how she could be so delusional when I have said no to being adopted for 11 years now," the post read. "I told her I would not change my mind. She and my dad were so pissed at my choice of words and chaos ensued at the party. AITA?"

Redditor Reactions

More than 3,000 users commented on the teen's post, many backing the OP for calling out his stepmother.

"It's inappropriate for her to bring up the matter at a wedding: twice!!!" one user commented. "Both her and your dad should have given you more time to grieve and adjust to the fact you lost your mom,"

"Her continued insistence all these years and the way she goes about it is sus af. Is there a deeper and hidden reason for her insistence?" another wrote. "What else does she stand to gain if you accept? Or lose if you refuse? Hold your ground. NTA."

"Ana wanted to replace your mom so badly that she screwed up every opportunity she had to be herself and a possible parental figure to you," another commented. "Your dad helped her deteriorate the relationship further at every step...NTA. Enough was enough many years ago. Glad to hear you got out of that situation."

"I think you need to get a Mother's Day gift for Ana: a copy of the declaration by the courts that you have legally changed your last name to your late mother's maiden name," a user advised. "Rotten flowers and dead rubber rat with a card written with 'thinking of you' optional."

"NTA, people need to learn what no means," another user said. "The fact they tried to get another judge to ignore your wishes is the biggest one for me."

"NTA - how many times does someone need to hear no? JFC...."

Newsweek reached out to u/LostConstruction492 for comment.

Other Viral Posts

In another viral post, a teen was praised for avoiding his "real parents" by being adopted by his stepmother. One woman was also supported online after revealing her thoughts that being a stepparent is "traumatic."

Commenters also applauded a stepmom who confessed that she doesn't treat both her stepchildren equally.